MAGDALA TO BUSHVILLE.

Waipawa Mail, Volume 2, Issue 119, 1 November 1879, Page 2

MAGDALA TO BUSHVILLE.

No. 3. My last (doubtless you wish that my first had also been my last). The descriptive twaddle that some of us write must be very trying to the editorial nerve, and vastly exhaustive of the virtue of editorial patience, but you know that when one becomes connected with a newspaper he naturally contracts the disease known as “ cacoethes scribendi,” and when big Avith vapid nothings, is in due time delivered of the same, and lays them at the feet of the long-suffering editor as the produce of his brain (forgive the assumption as to the possession of brains on my part, candidly, they are formed from the chips and parings of other peoples’). The insinuating surveyor (it must be pleasant to have one’s name paraded in print), of whom slight mention has been made, perceiving that wo were of the “ innocents abroad,” and having fathomed our designs against the neighboring runholders, instead of leading us into pastures where we could graze without money and without cost, treacherously, and with malice aforethought (let his name be defiled), took us into a dreary wilderness, where, judging by our early experience of “ mud pies,” to which in our youth we were much addicted, we found the soil to be of a nutritious quality. Our horses having, after caretul examination, discovered the fact that they were treading upon velvety turf, began to exhibit a desire for racing (which I need not say was promptly checked). I said to myfaithtul mare, “Gee up” (exhausting my equine vocabulary), and thereupon she at once subsided into a gentle walk. Who says that the lower animals have not intelligence P Here there is flat land, also terraces, and some hills (these things are worthy of remark, as I don’t think on any other part of the habitable globe such strange phenomena are to be witnessed). It would be advantageous to plough up this hill portion (I don’t exactly know why) ; and doubtless a largo number of settlers specially adapted to the process of starvation might bo induced to “ squat” hero. It may be for years and it may be for never (quotation) before you can get a sufficiently confiding race of people to make this their land of no milk and no honey. The number of gates on Mr ’s run is prodigious, and we certainly dvd not mean to close them after ub

(it was of no consequence what damage might be done by leaving them open). Unfortunately for ua the proprietor noticed our disinclination to act up to the rules which common courtesy suggests to strangers, and most civilly, but none the less decidedly, informed us that the gates weie placed there for a purpose, and were usually closed after being utilised. "We now came in view of the homestead, which to ns weary horsemen looked very enticing. We could not summon up courage to leave our cards. We lingered in the immediate vicinity, however, for some time. (A happy thought here occurred to Archididasculus ; he cooeyed to an imaginary friend; his object was apparent, but he met with no responsive call.) It struck us both that the house appeared to stand on its own ground, though we could not arrive at any logical conclusion as to why it should stand on any other ground. There is a sawmill here, but silont as the grave -was it. No doubt had the proprietor been forewarned of the visit of tw r o “ savants,” travelling in search of knowledge, he would havo'Miad it worked for our especial benefit. A voyage of discovery on the part of such persons as Archididasculus and myselt should be widely made known, so that the valuable information w r er may gain might be transmitted to posterity for its benefit. After passing the house of one Brown, a shepherd, we descended into the waters of the Manawatu, which, in fear and trembling, we passed over. Our guide dismounted, and so did T. Archididasculus preferred remaining in the saddle, and nearly came to grief, both animals escaping by a miracle from being precipitated into the boiling gulf. I thought this a pity at the time, as Archididasculus might havomade a point, and improved the occasion, by taking a ducking kmdly r and maintaining his reputation for biblical knowledge by quoting a portion of Ps. xlii., “ All thy waves and billows havo gone over me,” which probably would have been more appropriate than pleasant. After this Archi walked with discretion. We arrived at the surveyor’s hut, which we carefully inspected, and freely, as is our wont (when not asked), offered our opinion on. Here we again expected to restore exhausted nature. Nature abhors a vacuum, but we stilE bad to be painfully conscious that there was a void below the belt. Thissurveyor (his well-framed calves offering a sad contrast to our pistol-shinned

extremities) persuaded us to go a short distance into the bush with him (woe betido him as it betided us). Archididasculus wept and wailed and gnashed his gums, and remarked that the walk did not partake of the nature of a picnic. Having wallowed in the mire with moist feet, with clover and other weeds up to our necks, vaulting over logs (here Archidasculus proved himself a very Leo—tard), bringing down small Niagarasupon us, and disposing of the few remaining buttons of our inexpressibles (we had not many buttons on when: wo started, and we could not afford to renovate), we struck a track, which surveyor ironically told us was clearedThis information was superfluous.. Ten miles of the track having beerx travelled (I say ton miles unadvisedly,, distance did not seem to lend enchantment to the view', there being no view obtainable), we spotted a gang of men? from Norway who were felling a roadway ; it was the road that was being felled, and not the ‘trees, if you can? understand that, I can’t. They were working with locomotive power, and earning a competency (whatever that unknown quantity is, but it is statedby a colonial writer that it is a sum to bo despised and rejected of our* tramps at home). *We now made a retrograde movement in the direction of surveyor’s whare, where we duly arrived with our seedy togs more seedystill, if that were possible. We spokn to him in a tone of mild reproach. He reminded us that “ experient ia docet,’ * and we know that he meant us to add the other word to the quotation, and felt that he had gauged us properlyOur internal orginisation was now in. a fearful state of mutiny. I thought to have recourse to the weed to soothe the craving, but the one pocket remaining which had contained my pipe had , suffered in the bush, and these things were not. The welcome aid of a

Woodville man to whom all paths were known, saved us (as we were deserted by surveyor) from prowling around Mr ’s run all night, witha prospect of being locked up fortrespassing in pursuit of anything but knowledge. We shortly entered themain road, and saw Murphy in the distance, whereupon ArchididaßCulua chanted “Te deum laudainus.” Tea was prepared quickly, and havingpartaken, and invesied myself in Murphy’s slippers and a pair of fossil socks lent me for the time by Archi, I became more genial, and could almost have smoked the calumet of peace with the surveyor. Here, as in Kopua, the niceness, cleanliness and comfortableness of the surroundings caused me to register a vow that when I got homo 1 would have my own place made nicer, cleanlier, and comfortabler, and then dropped into the arms of Murphy (I mean the God of Sleep, not the landlord). Previous to sleep, however, I noticed that the mosquitos doubtfully contemplated me from above, but being somewhat fastidious, they did nob attack. In my next I shall probably have something more to say. PAR NOBILE FRATRTJM.