MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS,

Waikato Argus, Volume IX, Issue 765, 27 September 1900, Page 4

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS,

There are now, ib is said, over 24,000 soldiers iu the Indian Army Temperance Association, or about onethird of the eutire streugth of the British troops iu that country.

A most unusual object (the Mataura Ensign states) was brought up from the bowels of the earth in the buckets of the Charlton Creek dredge the other day in the shape of a set of artificial teeth. The owner lias not, so far, been dredged up. A marine store dealer, William Cole, had a narrow escape from a frightful death at Shepparton, Victoria. During a fit he fell forward into a fire, and was badly burnt about the legs and arms before being rescued by a woman, who had noticed his fall. It is faared that his hands will be useless in future. A new story is related of a dodge resorted toby an ingenious "Tommy" to escape the plague of women. A lady uurse, rushing fervidly to her patients in a Capetown hospital ward, found her favourite soldier fast asleep. Pinned on his coverlet was a scrap of paper, on which he had laboriously scrawled—- " Too ill to be nursed to-day.—Respect-fully, J.M."

Professor Virchow is lecturing at Berliu on a " live, petrified patient," who is suffurinj! from gradual and total ossificatiou of his whole body. He is covered with a surface of bone as hard as atone. He is now no longer able to move hia jaws, and he is forced to take food in liquid form through a tube, some teeth having been brokeu out to make room for the tube. Human evolution is nob likely to make flight practicable by meaus of the vertical screw. Lord Rayleigh calculates that to support his own weight a man, working at the average power to be maintained for eight hours a day, would require a screw about 3000 ft in diameter, and it would be necessary that this screw itself should have no weight and should be workable without loss of friction. ( "If we could only prevent animals being cruel to animals," remarked Mr M. Murphy, at a meeting in Christchnrch," we would do much good." He went on to describe the "great brutes" at Addington horning the smaller ones, and said that after witnessing such scenes, everyone would be in favour of dehorning. " I would have every horn off every animal in the colony," he concluded. A story is told of how 20,000 Chinese ou the Manchurian railway struck work owing to a report that the Russiins had killed Chinese in tbe hospital and boiled the bodies to get the fat to lubricate the engines. This was spread abroad by some rag-pickers, who found in an ashpit a couple of bear's paws. These were mistaken for human hands, and they were hung on a tree, and caused tremendous crowds to gather. It is said that a Colorado (U.S.A.) millionaire, who had been informed that the possession of a picture gallery would become his dignity, paid a visit to Mr Whistler's studio at Paris. He glanced casually at the picture on the walls. ««How much for the lot ?" he asked, with the confidence of one who owna gold mines. " Pour millions," said the famous painter. " What !'' "My posthumous prices," S3id Mr Whistler. " Good morning." When Lord Roberts was in Glasgow to .receive the freedom of the city, and old woman joined the crowd at the crowd at the entrance of the City Hall, just as the carriage drove up. " What's that wee man wi' a' the medals on his breast ?" she enquired of a bystander. " Lord Roberts—General Roberts," replied the gentleman addressed. "What!" exclaimed the old lady. " That a general ? I've a son near twice his size, and he is only a corporol!"

The other day a cricket match between Jllton and Harrow resulted in a very exciting finish. It was won by Harrow by just one run. The keenness of the contest caused a scrimmage between the members of the rival schools. The excitement began by each school try ing to tear down the flag of the other. The boys struck at each other's hats with canes, and the hats at once became footballs. The police let the contest go on for a time, and then interposed and stopped it.

Earl de la Warr, who was wounded during the ambuscade of a portion of Colonel Bethune's force near Vryheid, has given an interesting narrative of his experience on that eventful day. He was acting as aide-de-camp to Col. Bethune, and was directed to take messages to the captain of "D" Squadron, this being in thickest of the fight. He was able, h'owever, to deliver his order and then set out to return through' a heavy fire. In galloping back he saw Trooper Cooper, of Durban, lying wounded on the grass, which was then on fire. The flames were gradually making their way towards the wounded man, who was unable to move. Earl de, la Warr dismounted, and was in the act of rescuing him when he was pounced upon by about twenty Boers, who fired at him at close range. He was wounded, but managed to drag himself away from the burning grass. His horse had then bolted. He was later on miraculously rescued, when he had practically given up all hope. Here is a story of a clergyman who had taken temporary duty for a friend, and who had the ill-luck to injure his false teeth during the week. Tlie plate was sent to the dentist's for repairs, a faithful assurance being given that it should be duly returned by Sunday's post, but the dentist or the post proved faithless. With the assistance of the clerk the clergyman managed to stumble through the prayers, but felt it would be useless to attempt to preach. He therefore instructed the clerk to make some excuse for him and dismiss the congregation. But his feelings may be better imagined than described when, in the seclusion of the vestry, he overheard the ~ clerk in impressive tones thus deliver the excuse:—"Parson is very sorry, but it is his misfortune to be obligated to wear a set of artful teeth. They busted lost Wednesday, and he ain't got them back from London to-day, as he was promised. I've helped him all I could through the service, but I can't do no more for him. 'Tisu't any use for him going up in the pulpit, tor you wouldu't understand a word he said, so he thinks you may as well go home." Captain Andrew, of India, speak-

iug at Christchuroh, said :—Great Britain « maititaiuiug ouly a small standing army, fouud at a time like the present that the volunteer forces and-militia were of more use than most people thought. The demands on the army in South Africa and China have brought two points into prominence. First, that at a very early date a very large increase in the British Army will be necessary. In addition to the 8000 men taken away from India for the Transvaal, three battalions had been taken for China, and these had not been replaced. There was in India at the present time an army of uearly a quarter of a million men, but it vould not be possible to recruit the army much further from the natives, as the number of recruits was very !i mi ted. The next thing that the war had broughtprominently into notion was that thousands of people who had hitherto been inclined to look askance at the volunteers and militia, are to-day inclined to look more favourably on that much-abused branch of the service. It was the same in all parts of the Empire, Au Indian ofiicer had written to him from China, telling him that the force sent from India for service in China was the only one seut that was complete in its transport and commissariat arrangements tor a prolonged cam-