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Upper Hutt Weekly Review, Volume III, Issue 31, 22 July 1938, Page 3

Daughter: "Mother, I am more and more convinced that Jack has only married me for my money." Mother: "You ought to he pleased that he is not such a fool as he looks." * * * * Alex: Just coming from the bank? So ye have money put away, eh ? Sandy: I didna put any money in the bank. Alex : Then ye drew some oot oiborrowed ? Sandy: Nae, neither. Alex: Ah, well an' what did ye there ? Sandy: I fillitt my fountain pen * * * Mrs. Frazzle (gushingly) : D'you know, Mr. Grimleigh, I'm often mistaken for my daughter ? Mr. Grimleigh (gallantly) : By jove? Fancy you having a daughter as old-looking as you are. * * * * "Thank you, gentlemen," protested the political candidate, as he was hoisted shoulder-high "but I prefer to walk to my car." "Don't worry, guv'nor, you're i goin' in the river."