DUNEDIN LETTER.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XLVII, Issue 6379, 22 July 1916, Page 3

DUNEDIN LETTER.

(Own Correspondent.) r I was riding in a hill tramcar tho . other day, up or down does not mattor, and two men got into conversation. Naturally I listened. People who will discuss their business relations, their last baby or their next new dress in a public conveyance not only must, but do expect you to listen. And one is, at times (not often) rewarded for his trouble. For instance I heard a person who is well known as a most enterprising individual inform his fellow passengers in a voice that- could be heard by the univorso at large " You know I'm running my business on a bank overdraft!" "Dear me," I thought, somewhat taken aback by this candid confession, "No I I did not : know it, but," I added gently, "but I ■ am not surprised." So I listened quite openly and shamelessly to the conversation. I discovered it was l about the Loith Canal. " The beith ('anal," I murmured, also to myself (the only trustworthy confidant I know), "the Loith canal-, Where in the name of inland navigation is that located ? Surely, they must mean Panama 1" But no, it was" a Dunedin celebrity "alright. True, the analogy with the Panama a/fair was closer than one would have thought. There was talk »!' landslides, underground upheavals, erosions and general upsetting, but it was not of llie great ocean connecting channel that these two citizens of a dominion that is to be sivni I I'd in the interests of brutal capitalists, bloodsuckers, and other " damnable " persons (vide that high ' smiled patriot of the name of Payne ' who, in the interests of our lirave sons ! at the fronl, has been at il again) were talking, but of the t.eilli canal.

Finally it dawned upon me. 1 remembered to have seen some months earlier a number of men in the bed of the l.eith stream busy with shovel and trowel and cement. In my ignorance I concluded that they, were building the foundations and pedestal for a monument in memory of the late departed and lamented Mr C. • and, as I looked, J. smiled approvingly, and remarked to myself " how appropriate." What the men \vi;vv really doing, however, was the carrying out of a contract according to specitications "which in order to prevent the least possibility of mistake had been duly discussed and agreed upon by the Otago Harbour Board, the Duuedin Oily Council, and the Dunedin Drainage and Sewerage Board, and the whole signed by their

respective engineers, or some other equally imposing authority. As far, therefore, as formality and solemnity and knowledge could double bar and lock every possible opening against error, and make everything all right they were done in tho conversion of the Leith stream into the Leith canal. Vet, all the world and his- wife and family know to-day beyond tho possibility of doubt that everything is all wrong. Why ? Well, this is what 1 learned from tho men in the tranicar. The object aimed at was to prevent what they called " undue erosion " which, being translated, mcaneth that the work of carrying off tho storm water by way of the Leith was to be so done that the bed of the stream should not be carried away. To this end weirs were erected ; and thereby hangs a snag. It is these preventitive and protecting weirs that have proved the undoing of one mayor, three engineers and a score or two of city fathers to say nothing of the smaller fry. As thus : The weirs in practice became dams (nothing objectionable is intended) for when the stormwater stormed down the Leith bed it was temporarily checked, dammed so to speak, by the weirs, and instead oi rushing swiftly but evenly to the embrace of old mother Otago Harbour, it just formed waterfalls which toppled over and pounded away at the river bed, dug big holes, disgracefully conducted itself among the rocks and pebbles (" Ayr, gurgling, kissed the pebbled shore ") and laughed scornfully at tho little tricks of paltry men. Fortunately one of the three responsible engineers (the one chiefly responsible, it is whispered) saw what was going on and promptly advised his board to come and have, a look. They came, they saw, and they condemned. "Weir" are wc 1 asked one. " Weir indeed 1" said another. " Looks like a dam," remarked a third. Very much dam before we arc through with it," sagaciously commented a fourth. " Anyway, if we hurry up we can put the blame on the other fellows " said a fifth, and his opinion was carried by what the reporters call acclamation.

" Funny, isn't it," queried one of the men in the car. "So like 'em," said the other. They both grinned and looked sadly at (he man who came lo collect their fares. " Uemomber the Lee Stream tunuel .'" asked A of B. " liatkor, fifteen, or was it seventeen thousand golden sovereigns, as King Dick loved to say, just pitched away !" " .'ust so," answered A, " and what about Heriot Kow?" " And Canongale fortifications ?" replied the other by way of retort. " And the pier that was heeled over in Barr's time V was the response. "And the gasometer 1" ejaculated B in turn. '' And the tramway sleepers?" said A. " And the Electric Tramway's contract " roared B determined not to be done. But A had him ; he waited impatiently, got up, opened the door, put his foot on the step, turned and seeing tho smiling, bl.ishingly beaming, face of his companion, shouted '' And what about the purchase of tho Waipori Electric Power j Supply Co. 1" Then he jumped off muttering well pleased with himself, "got him that time, I think," and departed contentedly to the bosom of his waiting family, proud to know that their were some things that he flattered himself he , did know something about. And so ended my tram ride. If ministers or profesors let their sermons be printed in the newspapers then they must look for answers. But it is hardly fair when the answer is four times tho length of tho original offence: Some months ago Professor Dickie of Knox College from the pulpit of Knor church had a " go " at the Americans and what he declared was their attitude over the war. I recall that at the time I largely agreed with the general tenor of his invective. Then, like most other people I forgot all about the sermon and tho sermonisor. Alas I others were not go wise. Someone, apparently, aent

| a copy of the newspaper condensation to someone in New York. And this someone, being a lawyer, made answer on behalf of the United States of America and made his points like a lawyer. They were, superficially, effective until you turnod them ovor. Then they rang hollow and were not convincing. Also there were two and a-third columns of them—which is rather a lot I for so little. For here lies the joke, or the tragedy, of the wholo ghastly business (and the official attitude-, of the United States on the Belgium outrages and (ho Lusitauia murders ib ghastly). After taking so much room to say it the lawyer confirmed exactly what, the professor had said, viz : that in this great and terrible world war the American policy is to look after what it thinks is America's business! !

1 PRESENTATION TO PRIVATE P. LAWRENCE, A few weeks ago a deputation of citizens waited upon the local Patriotic •Society and urged the advisability of making a public presentation to each of our young men prior to their leaving for the front, and as a result, it was decided that in future all men who enlisted from this district should receive some public recognition of their patriotism in ottering their services to their King and country.

The first public presentation under this arrangement took place on Wednesday at mid-day when Private Prank Lawrence, who was home on final leave prior to leaving with the Sixteenth Reinforcements, was met by the members of the Patriotic Committee and several of our citizens, and presented with a set of military hair brushes.

The Mayor (Mr .1. B. McKinl'ay), in making the presentation, said Private Lawrence was a native of their town and educated at their District High School, and as a token of the citizens' appreciation of his action in volunteering for the front he asked his acceptance of their small gift which he hoped would serve to remind him of his hoppy association with the town of Lawrence. On behalf of the citizens of the town he wished him Godspeed and hoped he would be spared to come back amongst them, in which event he would receive a very hearty reception. Air .lones, Hector of the District High School, said lie heartily-re-echoed the sentiments expressed by Mr McKinlny. and on behalf of the school said they would follow his career with great interest: anil he felt sure that if he were spared to come back (as they all hoped he would bi-1 he would receive ii very liearly reception. Private Lawrence thanked Air McKinlay, and through him the citizens or Lawrence, for their gift, which he highly appreciated. He had spent very happy days in Lawrence and he would always cherish a warm regard for the people of this town and district. He :ilso thanked Air Jones for the kind wishes from the School and hoped he ivoulcl be privileged to meet.them all igain when peace was declared.