ON THE RAZZLE-DAZZLE.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXV, Issue 4252, 26 June 1895, Page 5

ON THE RAZZLE-DAZZLE.

In a Chicago court recently a local celebrity named John T. Hill, described as a " capitalist," but better known as "Captain Jack," was summoned by a French cafe proprietor for £175 for " goods and money supplied." The cross-examina-tion of the plaintiff was amusing in the extreme, as may be imagined from the subjoined extracts. The plaintiff, having sworn that all the goods enumerated were supplied either to defendant or to his order, was thus cross-examined : — "Do I understand that Mr Hill spent all these sums in your house ?" — " No, sir ; but all these things were supplied from the cafe." " Did they go to his home ?"— " No." " Then where did they go? "— " Oh, I can't tell." " But you must tell. You say you supplied all these things ?" — " Yes, but I cannot say where ; it would spoil my my customers would not like it." After a pause : " Some of the things were sent to a house on O'Farrell street." "Who lived there?"— "Mon dieu— l do not know." "Was it a gentlemen's club?"— "No, no." "Did other gentlemen go there besides Mr Hill?"—" Oh my, yes." " Then is it not possible that other gentlemen might have ordered things sent there and have them charged to Mr Hill ?"— " The orders were generally in a lady's handwriting." "Tell us, now, how he spent some of his money while he was at your house ?" — " I remember one occasion well ; it was the 18th of October, 1891, and the expenses of the dinner amounted to 187dol. He sent out for one dozen messenger boys. He ordered that some of them be tall and some little. Then he took them into one of the dining parlors and ranged them up in a row. The smallest boy waß at one end and the tallest at the other. When he had them fixed he called for glasses. He wanted glasses of as many sizes as there were sizes of boys. When each boy was suited with a glass the captain ordered champagne, and let the boys have as much as they liked. Then there was some singing — the captain liked singing — and between each song there was a round of champagne. You know that costs money," and as he spoke Host Carrere looked at the Court; but Judge Hunt, neither by word nor muscle, acknowledged that he knew anything of the kind. Captain Hill took the stand in his own behalf, and when speaking of the different occasions mentioned in the bill he referred frequently to "toots" and "razzle-dazzles." " I should know better whether these items are correct or not," said the witness, "if I knew just the extent of the time to which they refer." " What do you mean by the extent of the time, Mr Hill?" asked Carrere's attorney. "Well," drawled the captain, "there are times — and times. Occasionally a man will go on a toot, and it will cost a good sum, but every time he goes on a toot he don't spend money like he would if he was on a roaring good time— a razzle-dazzle, for instance." " A— what ?" asked the Court. " A razzle-dazzle, your Honor. Of course some of those items in that bill are paid, and probably a few are not ; but I do not owe anything like £175— dead sure of that. That represents razzle-dazzle for a week." " You seem to draw a distinction, Mr Hill, between a toot and a razzle-dazzle. Will you define those terms to the Court?" — " With pleasure. A ' toot,' in my opinion, is a very ordinary, plain ' jag'— nothing excitable about it. When a man goes on a ' toot ' he generally takes a few fellows along with him, and they treat each other and drink together till— well, till they break up. But my idea of a razzle-dazzle is something entirely different. A man does not go on a razzle-dazzle very frequently. When he does it is because he can't find anybody he knows, and so he just wanders off uptown. When I feel particularly lonely I start out on a razzle-dazzle, and, I tell you, they come high." " Then if you could know just how many of the items of the bill were for toots and bow many were for razzle-dazzles you could judge better of their correctness ?"—" Of course." "If a ' toot ' cost, on an average, £10, how much would an average razzle-dazzle cost ?" —"About £30." " Then if the bill contains some items for £10 and some for £30 it would be pretty safe to assume that they represented ' toots ' and razzle-dazzles respectively?" "I guess it would." The plaintiff recovered. The Superiority of Women.— Ada : " Men are so slow ! It took him nearly two hours to propose to me last night." Helen: " And how long did it take you to accept him, dear ? " Ada : " Just two seconds." Forty thousand men desert from the German Army every year.