NAMING THE BABY.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 4251, 22 June 1895, Page 1 (Supplement)

NAMING THE BABY.

They talked of Medora, Aurora and Flora, Of Mabel and Marcia, and Mildred and May; Debated the question of Helen, Honora, Clarissa, Camilla, and Phyllis and Fay. They thought of Marcolla, Estalla, and Bella; Considered Cecilia, Jeannette, and Pauline, Alicia, Adela, Annette, Arabella, And Ethel and Eunice, Hortense and Irene. One liked Theodora, another Leonora ; Some argued for Edith, and some for Elaine, For Madeline, Adeline, Lilly and Lora — And then, after all, they decided on Jane. A close Friend — The one who never lends you anything. Customer : " This coat fits me like a glove." Dealer (aside) : "It ought to. I've had it 'on hand ' long enough." He : " Her heart is as hard as glass. I can't make any impression on it." She : "Try a diamond. It fetches glass every time." Bbiggs : " Say, old man, what are you doing for that cold?" Griggs: "Coughing." He : " J have never yet met the woman I thought I could many." She (sarcastically) : "No, they are very hard to please, as a rule." " That's what I get for my pains !" sobbed the small boy, as he swallowed a dose of castor oil. Mns. Mulligan : " I'd rather hey the hull family ill than you." Mr. Mulligan: "So would I." A SHOET STOEY, Chap. I. Lonely maiden on the beach. Chap. 11. Carried far beyond her reach. Chap. 111. Shark attracted by the sound. Finis., Saves the maid from being drowned. She : "Before we were married you said you loved the very ground I walked oif." He : "So I did ; and I love it still." ■ Mbs. Jones (to visitor) : "That piece my daughter is playing is extremely difficult." Visitor (in extreme agony) : "Ah, madam, I wish it was impossible." A SAD DISAPPOINTMENT. Freddy : " I want to pay my bill " His Tailor (interrupting 1 ) : " Thanks, my dear sir. I'll" Freddy (interrupting) : " But owing to circumstances lam unable to do so. Good day." i "I should think you would be an unwel'coine visitor at the houses where you call," said the philosopher to the bill-collector." " You would think so, but it doesn't appear to me to be so." "It doesn't?" "No ; I'm generally invited to call again." When you're lying all so calmly, Nicely settled for a doze, Doesn't it make you nearly frantic When a fly lights on your nose ? CONTROLLABLE GRIEF. "Fanny and I were the only two at the funeral, mamma, who did not cry." " Didn't you feel like crying ?" " Oh, yes, but couldn't; we had no handkerchiefs." A RUSE THAT FAILED. He : "Do dreams go by contraries?" She: "They do." He : "Always?" She : "Always." He: " Then I dreamed last night that I proposed to you, and you said • No.' " She : " Then, to show you that dreams go by contraries, if you were to propose to me now I would not say ' No.' " He : " You wouldn't ?" She : " I wouldn't. I would say, ' I'll be a sister to you.' "