WHY NO SCOTCHMEN GO TO HEAVEN.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 4079, 28 February 1894, Page 6

WHY NO SCOTCHMEN GO TO HEAVEN.

Long years ago, in time so remote that history does not fix the epoch, a dreadful war was waged by the King of Scotland, who, elated by his successes, sent for his Prime Minister, Lord Alexander. " Well Sandy," said he, " is there ne'er a king we canna conquer noo ?" "An 1 it please your Majesty, I ken o' a King tiiat your Majesty canna vanquish." " An' wha is he, Sandy ?" Lord Alexander, reverently looking ud said " The King o' Heaven." * Fl " The king o' whaur, Sandy ?" "The King o' Heaven." The Scottish King did not understand, but was unwilling to exhibit any ignorance. xu"£? st fia ?£ y° ur wav8 > Sandy, and teU the King o Heaven to gi'e up his dominions, or 111 come myser and ding him oot o' them. And mind, Sandy, you dinna come back to us until ye hae dune oor bidden." Lord Alexander retired much perplexed, but met a priest, and, reassured, returned and presented himself. '* Weel, Sandy," said the King, "hae ye seen the King o' Heaven, an' what says he to oor bidden ?" " An' it pleases your Majesty, I hae seen ane o' his accredited ministers." " Well, an' what says he ?" " He says your Majesty may c'en hae his kingdom for the asking o' it." " Was he sac civil ?" said the King, warming to magnanimity. " Just gang your ways back, "Sandy, and tell the King o' Heaven that for his civility the deil a Scotchman i shall set foot in his kingdom."