THE SUFFERING EDITOR.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 4079, 28 February 1894, Page 6

THE SUFFERING EDITOR.

"Cap'n, are you the editor of this paper ?" The speaker was a tall, raw-boned middle-aged man, with faded sorrel hau and a hand like a smoked ham. " I am, sir," replied the editor of the Peaville « Bugle.' "What can I do foi you?" "You had a piece in your paper this week about a marryin' at Hopkins's Rue last Thursday, didn't ye ? " "Yes, sir; I believe I did." " The marryin' was at Phil Crumpets, wasn't it ?" "I think it was." {t His oldest girl was married to Clum Harkins. That right V "That is right." " You wrote the piece, did ye ] " "Of course I—lI — I wrote it, but •" " Stop right there ! You wrote it, hey?" "The — the facts were given to me by somebody from that neighborhood, and " "The facts!" howled the raw-boned stranger, bringing his fist down on the table with a bang that jarred the editor in his chair. " They warn't facts ! You said the weddin' passed off quietly ! Who told you it passed off quietly ?" " Why — why, what's wrong with that 1 Didn't it pass off quietly ?' "No, sir!" thundered the man. "I ought to know! I'm the gal's father. I'm Phil Crumpet ! The weddiri' passed off, sir, with the golwhoppinest shivaree ever got up in our neighborhood, and if you don't put it that way next week, an 3 do the gal justice, I'll come back an' break every darned bone in yer body !" The editor of the Peaville 'Bugle 3 hastily promised to set the matter right in his next issue, and Mr Phil Crumpet, of Hopkins's Run, turned on his heel and clumped heavily out of the office, shaking his head in a threatening manner as he went. — ' Chicago Tribune.'