Some Dental Reminiscences.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1888, 16 April 1892, Page 2 (Supplement)

Some Dental Reminiscences.

I hava been dabbling a little in dentistry for the past few days, and as far as I have gone I can't say tbat I hanker after it as a meana of rest and relaxation. I had much rather sit in a barbel's chair, and have him pour bay rum down my neck and ask me it-I didn't want a sea foam or a scalp eradioator. As unpleasant and annoying to the sensitive soul &s that ia, it is a Bethoven symphony alongside of a rest in a dentist's chair. It almost makes a man wish he had been born without teeth, when he comes to having them

I mentioned this little bon mot to my dentist but he only grunted and told me not to spit on the carpet. There is something so discouraging to conversation in the regular couree of dentistry that one hates to have the life knocked out of a little pleasantry by a mercinary minded tooth doctor. A man can think of a good many thingo while a man's fist and a set of boring apparatus io operating inßido his jaws, but he can scarcely find words to give his thoughts expression. Then wL-en the merry ripple of pera'floge flows forth with the saliva at some intermission of the tragedy, he hates to have it received as cooly as civil service application for office.

This makes the la«t of the Maobeth fillings that I have had le-placed.

There were six of them at first, twelve years ago ; all put iv by the same master hand.

. One by one they ported from me. Some of them willingly, yea gladly, in company with a piece of molasses candy, others broken off abruptly in the full tide of their strength and usefulness by a stray bit of oyster shell. I had a girl once who loosened a large front filling wiih one of her warm, voluptious kisses that drew like a mustardplaster or a new pieoe of suction hose. This lastone I shook out of a teeth-chattering contest where some one was telling ghost stories in the dark. Henceforth Macbeth and I will be as though nothing had ever passed between us. I carry no more of his biBulphate of zinc around with me and I am glad of it.

My first dental experience- happened in the early part of my career, but I never thick of it without a recoil of horror, whatever that 18.

The dentist, whose tooth-jerking emporium and ja\r- dislocating parlors I patronised, went by the name of Macbeth.

He looked like a man who would stoop to murder, if the man wbb smaller than he or he had him down. I did not patronise him from choice but from policy. He run a half squsre adv. in the paper on which I then worked, and one morning when I complained of a toothache, the editor suggested that I should go to Macbeth. Mr. Macbeth kept a small showoasa full of teeth at the bottom of the stairway leading to his biousped bazaar, and the dootor who did business on the floor above, also had a small, but ohoice collection of aristocratic corns on the other side of the staircase. The effect, as vre artists say, was harmonious but startling.

Peraons would stop as they went by to look at tho showoaees, just as they do in front of a photographer's display, and point out Major Taylor's three-pronged molar or Mrs, Judge Tuley'a troublesome hard corn.

When I went to Mr. Macbeth, I told him that a toothache was troubling me, and that I had a large, important looking tricuspid that I would like to add to his collection. He said that he didn't usually put any but the teeth of actresses and professional men in his display, but that he might make an exoepiion in my case, if I would give him a ten-line local in next week's paper. I promised the local, and a good position at top of the column, next reading matter, provided he gave my tooth the same in his case.

That was when 1 was young and proud. Now, I have my teeth pulled, not necessarily for exhibition.

Then I took a seat, opened my mouth and waited, while Macbeth made his explorations. When he returned from the interior, he said there was no need of pullinsr the tooth &t all. That it ought to be filled. He- also announced with gladsome Eurekanese, that he had discovered five other large, underground ca.vities that aught to be Btopped up.

In my guileless innocence I told him to go ahead with the contract.

Then he jabbed a stick of wood into my mouth to hold it open, while he rummaged around among the assortment of rasps he kept on file.

B-jecting some of the less deadly instruments, he selected his favorite weapon and placed himself in an effaneive attitude. Hs placed his left hand across the bridge of my nose to steady himself, and his hand was as cold and olammy as the touch of a duar departed friend. I tried to remonstrate with him, but he had already begun operations, and I could only think up things that X would say when I got loose. After staking out his claim, he began to bore for quartz. Every once in a while his gimlet would slip end jab a hole in my jaw. Then he would twiet it out, brace his feet more firmly against the woodwork, and jab away again. So hs went on. tapping a vein here, striking paying dirt there, and running into a blind lead some plaoe else, till all six of the cavities were tilted. Mr. Macbeth's treath was nearly as strong as his arm, and came near taking the plooe o! chloroform. Hi 3 hands also lead mo to believe that he had had turkey hash to: breakfast, and had been dealt the neck. Bus I did not complain. When man has his mouth full pf small orobars and nail pnnohes, '*c ii» foolish to utter a word of complaint 'ibom anything.

When I got a chance to get up and beat in honorable retreat, I did so. I think Mao'jetn must have takep me for the late Mr. Mr.Uuff.

Taa demand for its leather has brought tho kangaroo into imminent danger of cz--;;:oiicn, and measures are in contemplation Vi restricting the slaughter oi the animal.

Ethel: "What do you think of Joblota 5 er gage men t to Miss Sears t" Jack : " He might do worse." Bihil: "He will— he is going (o many her.' 1

"Why, Casper, this isn't a bit the kind of a house I supposed you would build." " No, I'm rather surprised myself, but (be architect is very well satisfied."