what's in a name ?

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXIII, Issue 1733, 25 October 1890, Page 2 (Supplement)

what's in a name ?

The old-time hareb and gruesome phrase That proved law's vindication Will p»8B to tbe yesterday^ Traditions ot the nation. Though what c-ffeet the change will show, Is something much dieputed, When men no more are banged,we know, But are electrocuted. Tramp : " Sir, won't yon plaasa help a poor fellow who hasn't eaten anything for a week ?" Dyspeptic (who has dined unwißely and is suffering the consequence: "Help you ? You are better off than I am, for t don't beiieve I'll want to eat anything fpr the next month." " How doea your husband spend his evenings /" "He stays at home acd thinks ont schemes to make money." l? And what do you do with yourself when he is thus occupied ? ' " Oh, I think out schemes to spend it," "Very well, then," Bhe exclaimed, to make a concession, " I cannot deny that I have my faults." "No doubt of that," eaid her husband, hastily. " I Bhould a like to know ■what they ere I" exclaimed hia wife, iao*e hastily etill. Fit.st Burglar : " Cracker, I think we ought to have a motto. A feller can work so much better with a motto to chirk him up." Second Barglar ; " \es, I think so, too ! How would this do ? Take things &g yon find 'em ? ' " Will you give me, MiEB Weehawken, your company to the opera on Thursday?" saked Mr. Goslin. "I'm sorry, but a lot of my friends are to give me a surprise party that night, and I'm expeoted to stay at home." 11 A waltz ? Mr. Henderson, you are too kind," said Miss Waite.who has been a wallflower all the evening. " Not at all, Mias Waite," sai<i Mr, Henctereon,*host of the occasion — " you know the performance of one's duty is sometimes sweeter than actual pleasure." " Accobding to my father's rules, Mr. Chapkins, wo always adjourn here at twelve. It is now one minute of—" " Ah, indeed 1 Well, in accordance -with legislative custom, Miss Barrows, there being some unfinished business before the house, I will turn back the olook." Engagement announced nest day. " Who is that handsome young man standing over there?" inquired an old gentleman of a rich old lady at a party. " That's my son-in law. He's a very brilliant yonng man—made a lrage fortune by the law." 11 Indeed 1" said the old gentleman—" bow's that 1" " The law made bim my daughter's husband."