what's in a name ?
The old-time hareb and gruesome phrase That proved law's vindication Will p»8B to tbe yesterday^ Traditions ot the nation. Though what c-ffeet the change will show, Is something much dieputed, When men no more are banged,we know, But are electrocuted. Tramp : " Sir, won't yon plaasa help a poor fellow who hasn't eaten anything for a week ?" Dyspeptic (who has dined unwißely and is suffering the consequence: "Help you ? You are better off than I am, for t don't beiieve I'll want to eat anything fpr the next month." " How doea your husband spend his evenings /" "He stays at home acd thinks ont schemes to make money." l? And what do you do with yourself when he is thus occupied ? ' " Oh, I think out schemes to spend it," "Very well, then," Bhe exclaimed, to make a concession, " I cannot deny that I have my faults." "No doubt of that," eaid her husband, hastily. " I Bhould a like to know ■what they ere I" exclaimed hia wife, iao*e hastily etill. Fit.st Burglar : " Cracker, I think we ought to have a motto. A feller can work so much better with a motto to chirk him up." Second Barglar ; " \es, I think so, too ! How would this do ? Take things &g yon find 'em ? ' " Will you give me, MiEB Weehawken, your company to the opera on Thursday?" saked Mr. Goslin. "I'm sorry, but a lot of my friends are to give me a surprise party that night, and I'm expeoted to stay at home." 11 A waltz ? Mr. Henderson, you are too kind," said Miss Waite.who has been a wallflower all the evening. " Not at all, Mias Waite," sai<i Mr, Henctereon,*host of the occasion — " you know the performance of one's duty is sometimes sweeter than actual pleasure." " Accobding to my father's rules, Mr. Chapkins, wo always adjourn here at twelve. It is now one minute of—" " Ah, indeed 1 Well, in accordance -with legislative custom, Miss Barrows, there being some unfinished business before the house, I will turn back the olook." Engagement announced nest day. " Who is that handsome young man standing over there?" inquired an old gentleman of a rich old lady at a party. " That's my son-in law. He's a very brilliant yonng man—made a lrage fortune by the law." 11 Indeed 1" said the old gentleman—" bow's that 1" " The law made bim my daughter's husband."
Permanent link to this item
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/TT18901025.2.23.2
Bibliographic details
Tuapeka Times, Volume XXIII, Issue 1733, 25 October 1890, Page 2 (Supplement)
Word Count
399what's in a name ? Tuapeka Times, Volume XXIII, Issue 1733, 25 October 1890, Page 2 (Supplement)
Using This Item
No known copyright (New Zealand)
To the best of the National Library of New Zealand’s knowledge, under New Zealand law, there is no copyright in this item in New Zealand.
You can copy this item, share it, and post it on a blog or website. It can be modified, remixed and built upon. It can be used commercially. If reproducing this item, it is helpful to include the source.
For further information please refer to the Copyright guide.