No Mermaid There.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XVIII, Issue 1216, 23 January 1886, Page 2 (Supplement)

No Mermaid There.

He was leaning against the railing at the ferry dock looking decidedly out of sorts when along came an oily, smoothed-faced man, and said: "How are you. off I" "What for?" " Money." , " Haven't got a red." " Say, can you tell a lie ?" 11 1 can 1" , "Then you are the man I want. OldCapt. I Smith, of Boffalo, is over in that saloon, and has got a crowd around him. He's a great liar, but always sticks to one anecdote. It is about his vessel being wrecked, and of a mermaid taking him in her arms and swimming ashore. Now, then, I want you to go over and sit down and hear the lie out, and when he is through just get up and olaim that you are the identical mermaid who saved his useless old life. I want to set him back, and it will be fifty cents in your pocket." The matter was aranged, and tha pair went over to the saloon. Capt. Smith was feeling good, and in a little time he worked around to remark : " That was a curious thing that happened to me in 1848. Did I ever tell you of the wreck of the Mary Ann ?" " No." He sat down to describe the imaginary wreck, and when he got along to> where the vessel Bhowed an 'intention to founder the ohap who was to play mermaid got the wink, and prioked up his ears. "Well, sir," continued Smith, " she finally went down, and I found myself struggling in the lake. It was twenty-five miles to land, and how do you suppose I got there?" "I have heard that a mermaid towed you ashore," answered one of the gang. "Humph! an infernal lie! I floated ashore on the mainhatch cover, and never had a nicer ride in my life I" The man who hired the liar seemed completely broken down, while the liar stumped o£? out doors with his courage all gone. Smith had eeen them in conversation, suspected a job, and left the mermaid out altogether.