CLERICAL STORIES.

Tuapeka Times, Volume VI, Issue 299, 23 October 1873, Page 9

CLERICAL STORIES.

A curious incident is reported from Littlehatnpton. The vicar of Lyminster. in the course of a sermon preached at tbe former place on the 27th ultimo, said a clergyman died in 1871, leaving a packet of papers labelled " Not to be opened." It was not opened until 1872, when it was found, by tbe person who had the settlement of deceased's affairs, to contain a dispensatian from the Pope, permitting the clergyman to retain his position in the Chnrcb of England, while be bad become a Catholic. Are there any more and alive ? A London clergyman, a book-collec-tor, two or three years ago, had the fortune to pick out of a heap of volumes, "all for fourpence," a Greek Testament, presented by John Newton, of St Mary Woolnotb, to William Cowper. This interesting volume bears Newton's name, an original verse of his and Cowper' s, with plate. The same gentleman was fortunate enough, still more recently, to purchase from a lot of books, " all for twopence," the .copy of the Latin translation of Aristotle's Politics — Joachimo Perionio Benediction Gormcsriaceno interprete, Lugdini, MDLVL, which belonged once to Queen Elizabeth and which still bears marks in the pencilling of carefu 1 . reading. A story is told of a Scotch minister who, atthe conclusion of the s»ermon. observing that the beadle, the precentor, and Several others of the -congregation were fast asleep, addressed the beadle's wife in the following language : — "Jean G-ourlay, woman, wauken yer man, and tell him to wauken tbe precentor." Tbe "Edinburgh Courant" relates an equally droll incident which took place on Sunday week in a church where the "minister" is a learned D.D. and an exModerator of tbe General Assembly of the Church of Scotland. While preaching to his flock he was shocked to find that the majority of them were enjoying a quiet "nap," At last, says our contemporary, his Highland blood could I no longer bear it, and singling out the ' beadle, wno had for some time been giving a nodding assent to all tbat wns said ex cathedralle determined to make an example of him. He accordingly paused in his discourse, surveyed the effect, and then, drawing a long breath, called out in a voice of thunder to an elder of the church to "Waken up Scott." The whole congregation were startled from their slumbers, and their attention, especially that of the beadle, during the remainder of the service left nothing to be desired. In tbe newly-published volume of " Monograms " by Lord Hougbton, there is, in one of Sydney Smith, tbe following story of his clerical fun in Yorkshire :—": — " He willingly assisted his neighbors in their clerical duties, and an anecdote of one of these occasions is still current in the district, for tbe authenticity of which I will not vouch, but which seems to me good enough to be true. He dined with the iucumbeuti on the preceding Saturday, .and the evening passed in great hilarity, tbe squire, by name Kershaw, b^ing conspicuous for his loud enjoyment of the stranger's jokes. 'I am very glad I have amused you,' said Mr-. Sidney

Smith at parting, ' but you must not laugh at my sermon to-morrow.' 'I should hope I know tbe difference between being here and at church,' remarked the gentleman, with some Bharpness. 'I am not so sure of that,' replied the visitor. ' I'll bet a guinea on it," said tbe squire. 'Take you, 1 replied the divine. The preacher ascended the steps of the pulpit apparently suffering from a severe cold, with bis handkerchief to his face, and at once sneezed out tbe name ' Ker-sbaw ' several times in various intonation. This ingenious' assumption of the readiness with which a man would recognise his own name in sound imperceptible to the ears of others, proved accurate. The poor gentleman burst into a guffaw, to tbe scandal of the congregation ; and tbe minister, after looking at him with stern reproach, proceeded with bis discourse and won tbe bet.' 1