JOSH BILLINGS' ALMANAC.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 204, 28 December 1871, Page 6

JOSH BILLINGS' ALMANAC.

[SEKRET SERVICE,] Offis'sov "Josh Billings' Farmers' ") Allinanax for 1872." )

Mi Dear Mr. Editor:

-Sum men are born great, sum men git grate after they are born, and sum men have grateriess have upon them. It seems tew me that I am all 3 of those into one.

At a mass meeting lately hold in Pordunk County, (my natiff viVa^e) the inhabitants past the following preamble and resolutes: Whereaz, it is hilv good that a Farmer's Allminax should be born for the year 1872. Resoluted, That Josh Billings be sot apart, (and hereby is expressly sot apart) to beget the job. Resoluted, That this Allminax shall be begotted on the fust ov nex Oktober, wet or dry.

Resoluted, That this Alltninax shall kontain milk for babes, meat for elders, and crumbs for all.

llesoluted, That Knower bilt the ark, and Joner waz tbe fust man who went a whaleing, but Josh Billings has the right ingredients for a Farmer's Allin anax.

Resoluted, That Faith wins the battles of life, Hope beautifys them and Charity makes tbem immortal. Eesoluted, That the more dorgs than a man wants are a nuisance, and less than he baz "got, iz positively no loss.

Eesoluted, That we fully believe that man cum from the monkey, but where the monkey cum from we don't seem to kno.

Resoluted, That the thanks ov this meeting be sent to Darwin, (or tew the monkey) we don't kare whiteh.

Eesoluted, That nil the nuzepnpers in ourbeloved land (without distinction ov color) be allowed to print these resolstes.

Eesoluted, That this meeting now unanimusly busts quietly, sinun di. JOSH BILLINGS, Sekretary, Ditto, Allmanacker. P. S. The meeting did bust quiet. — J. B.