BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume LXVI, Issue 20454, 6 November 1934, Page 5

BY THE WAY.

Some Collections and Reflections. BY ONE OF THE BOYS. The peculiarity about Saturday’s Cup race was that punters had their laugh at the beginning instead of at the finish. In the Soviet Union all racehorses are the property of the State In New Zealand it’s nearly as bad as that. Customer: “Haven’t you anything you could guarantee to waken me early in the morning?” Weary Assistant tin hardware shop) : “ Yes, I’ve got something, but I don’t think his mother would like parting with him.” “ Isn’t it surprising how a simple word quite innocently spoken can pause a heap of trouble?” said Jones his friend Simpson. “ How’s that?” he asked. “ Well,” explained Jones, “ the other evening my wife was working out a crossword puzzle, and she asked me: ‘What is a female sheep?’ I replied: ‘Ewe,’ and then the trouble commenced.” Sunday School Teacher: “If I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?” Pupil: “Brotherly love.” Jones looked downhearted* “ What’s wrong?” asked a fellow-worker. “I don’t know,” said Jones wearily. “ I can’t get along with my wife at all.” “Why is that?” “All she does is to ignore me.” “Ignore you?” “Yes. And if there’s anything I dislike it’s ignorance,” said Jones. Farmer Giles noticed a youth loung ing near the dairy door. “ I say, young fellow,” he said, “ what’s the attraction round here?” “Oh, e-e-er. I’ve just called to see the milkmaid,” said the youth rather nervously. “ Have you. now,” said the farmer, an ominous light in his eyes. “ Well, I’ll have you know our milk is not made; it comes straight from the cows.”