BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume LXVI, Issue 20296, 4 May 1934, Page 5

BY THE WAY.

Some Collections and Reflections. BY ONE OF THE BOYS. Wife (sorrowfully) : “ Ive just received a letter from poor, dear mamma. She says she is feeling very seedy.” Husband (with' a grunt) : “ I suppose that means she is going to plant herself on us.” “ No, sir,” said the defendant. “ I was certainly not drunk, though 1 mav have been intoxicated." “ Well,” said the magistrate, “ I intended to fine you ten shillings, but in view of ycur explanation 1 11 make it half a sovereign.” Mr Meeker had crawled under the bed when he heard the burglar. lie held his breath and waited. Then, after a long pause he felt someone trying to crawl in beside him. ”Is that you. Henrietta, dear?” he whispered.’ “ No,” was the answering whisper, “ I’ve just had a look at her. I'm the burglar. “ Johnny, can you tell me the difference between attraction cf gravitation and attraction cf cohesion?” Yes, sir. Attraction of gravitation pulls a drunken man to the ground, and th attraction of cohesion prevents his getting up again.” Mr Staylate: ‘‘Do you know. Miss Sharp, that music quite carries me away?” Miss Sharp: “Isn’t that lovely? Do let me play to you!” Mr F. Lye, M.P., when warmly eulogising the qualities of Mr Coates at Morriasville on Tuesday evening was howled down. They could not take that Lying down.