BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume XLIV, Issue 708, 8 March 1933, Page 5

BY THE WAY.

Some Collections and Reflections. By ONE OF THE BOYS. “ For what is Scotland famous besides whisky.” “ Who cares?” A vicar announced. “ The collection to-day is on behalf of the assistant curate, and I hope you will give liberally to this deserving object.” ' Aren’t you afraid your husband will neglect the cat while you are away?” “Oh, no. Bill always likes to see plenty in the kitty.” “ My dog went to the show and got two firsts, and a second, and was highly commended.” “ Well, my dog ’e stayed home and got two fights and a feed, and was highly delighted.” “I believe your city is very healthy, isn't it?” “ It’s the healthiest spot on earth. " “ Yet your cemetery is quite full.” “ Yes, those are the graves of doctors and undertakers who died of broken hearts.” Little Cohen was very slow at arithmetic, and the mistress had particular difficulty in making him learn to subtract. “ Look here,” she said patiently, “if you had eight pennies, Cohen, and lost three, how many would you have left?” Cohen thought for a minute. “ But for vy,” was his puzzled reply, “should I lose three pennies?” Customer: “Three of those apples —?u sent me were rotten. I am oringing them back.” Storekeeper: “That’s all right, madam. You needn't bring them back. Your word is just as good as the apples.”