BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 19241, 1 December 1930, Page 6

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) Motor drivers help the free anibulances a lot—in their own little way. A bright future for New Zealand is prophesied. It is surely time we had our sunny summer days. Patient: Doctor, I feel’ like killing myself. What shall I do? Doctor: Leave it to me. “ It is appalling to consider the some total of Australia’s indebtedness,” says a Sydney newspaper. The Governor-General is reported as saying it seems that the chief function of his office is opening things. Only a Governor-General could safely make such a statement when so many burglaries are happening. A correspondent complains of songs sung in foreign languages at the “talkies.” Mendelssohn’s “Songs Without Words” are indicated. At Oberammergau it is said that the Queen of Greece is overshadowed by Mr Henry Ford. But where would a Ford be without grease? We read of a once famous duelling ground being used as a putting green. Where rapiers flashed now clubs do j swing. Some bad-tempered men are occasionally seen frothing at the mouth.. In hotels others are seen mouthing at the froth. There is a Scotchman who has his four unmarried daughters on his hands because he hated the thought of giving them away. “ Isn’t it dreadful to think,” the woman remarked at dinner, “ that a poor lamb was killed to satisfy our hunger?” “Yes; it is pretty tough,” the man heartlessly answered as he swallowed a lump.

A Scottish commercial traveller, finding himself in the West of England in the middle of winter during a period of depression, wired to his firm: — “Storm bound here, business impossible, wire instructions.” And the reply came back: “Start summer holidays from yesterday.”

The traffic policeman stopped the motorist and beckoned to him to pull into the kerb. “Let me see your license?” demanded the limb of the law. “Which one?” asked the motorist, pulling out his bulging wallet. “Dog, car, fishing, radio, revolver, hawker’s, surveyor’s or marriage?”