BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18890, 15 October 1929, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) “At the end of the first two furlongs I’ll pull my horse,” said the first jockey. “ Make it five or six,” said his friend. “ We’ve got to be fair to our public.” “ The Desert Song ” is a good show all right, and that’s the fair fac’s of the case. Dean Inge may be rude about “ the period of license.” What I dread is a period of no-license. She was only a Spiritualist’s daughter, but (as she said), “ Seance’s believin’.” *: A magistrate told a motor-cyclist that he was not as expert in controlling his machine as most motor-cyclists believed they were. But are any of them? Gosh, Mr Bruce has suffered a big defeat. He is now lying on his back in a cave, watching a spider trying to crawl up its thread. The ambulance had a busy day on Sunday collecting motorists. If this sort of thing goes on the Halo and Wing Makers’ Association will be asking for a new award. Competition is a wonderful thing. Look how the proposed port in the Estuary has brought the Lyttelton Harbour rates down. A resident of Beckenham said yesterday: “I see Dr Thacker blames the typhoid cases on to bad sew’ers. Well; that makes me feel safer in my mind, because we haven’t any sewers.” a tt a The njotor trade in Ashburton is, I believe, bitterly opposed to the return of licensed houses. They say that prohibition is a wonderful thing to make people travel. “No oysters, sir,” said the waitress. “ The fishmongers aren’t ordering them since the typhoid scare.” “ Then have you got any crayfish ? ” “ No.” “Any prawns?” “No. The only shellfish we have are eggs.” Took a stroll up to the Sign of the Kiwi on Sunday, and remarked to my companion that it would be a nice place to picnic, if they only sold water there. “Well,” said he, “I’ve heard of optimists expecting flowers on their graves, but you’re the first I’ve heard of who thought he could go to Ell and get water.”