BY THE WAY. SOME COLLECTIONS

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18629, 5 December 1928, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS

AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) Count Bemadotte’s wedding shivoo cost £250,000, but I can assure any interested parties that there won’t be any vulgar ostentation like that about my wedding. » » X We had a message the other day about the Turks being educated in the new alphabet, and another about some Turkish officials getting away with £2,000,000 in a bank-note schlinter. Those sorts of people don’t want any more education. They know too much already. X X * The idea seems to be that if you take a tame pigeon, put it in a trap, shoot it before it gets too far away and kill it, you’re not being cruel. And you re not being cruel if you get someone to kill it if you’ve only wounded it. In fact, the only loophole for cruelty seems to be that if you miss the bird altogether it’ll fly away and die of a broken heart through grieving over your disappointment. The only flaw in this argument seems to be that only I and some members of the S.P.C.A. put it forward. A pigeon might have something different to say about it. The brat next door has been using his block again. He read of the annual church service for old people, and now, when he’s asked what he’s going to be when he grows up, he says: “ Seventy, so I’ll only have to go to church once a year.” X X X I hope this doesn’t cause any peaceloving statesman to break off in the middle of a platitude, but what I want to know is this:—Mr Britten got a rap on the knuckles for suggesting a conference on naval limitation. Will Admiral de Steiguer get one for freezing all good 100 per cent marrows with tales of greedy eyes on the national cash-box and for demanding the biggest navy in the world? X X X The “ Daily Express ” said on Monday : “ Our men are out to give Australia the biggest hiding she has ever had. Chapman’s tactics concealed a deadly, merciless intent to break the opposition.” Do you remember how the English papers were horrified at the All Blacks because they always did their damndest to win? Well, it’s your turn to laugh. XXX To avoid arguments when the last wickets are falling, it must be remembered that Australia needs 742 to win. A score of 741 would give her only a tie. The travels in and out of Court and gaol of Mrs Meyrick, the night club queen, are something like the classic case of Finnegan: “ Out again, up again, in again—Evelyn.” X X X A woman angler announces that she intends to go fishing with a wprm. Other women anglers prefer to lfeave their husbands at home. ' X X X The largest measure of generosity, moderation and patience must be extended to other lands by the U.S.A., says Coolidge. Well, didn’t they lend us the money in the first place? Couldn’t they have asked for a lot more interest than they did? And, in any case, ’they’ve got to wait for it. America’s “ mystery ” aeroplane, which was completely demolished when it crashed, was described as the year’s outstanding achievement. It recalls the story of the little girl passing the village rubbish shoot saying to her mother. “ Oh, look, mummie, there’s a perfectly good cat.” XXX Admiral Steiguer Thinks the U.S. Navy too meagre. They need, to avoid being losers, More cruisers. XXX

One of the reasons that the present Speaker was re-elected was that when the members tend to get out of hand he can stay them. We shall very shortly see whether the Reformers are sufficiently reformed to become disunited and then United; and whether to be Labour is to belabour the point.