QUAINT EXAMPLES OF FOREIGNERS’ ENGLISH

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18585, 10 October 1928, Page 10

QUAINT EXAMPLES OF FOREIGNERS’ ENGLISH

In the hall of a certain hotel at Geneva the other day (writes H. Challinor James in the “Daily Mail”) a foreigner was volubly airing his opinion that the British are the worst linguists in Europe. Taking him gently on one side, I pointed to a huge doormat on which was printed in red letters. ‘‘Your feet the mat must wipe or mud the carpet begets.” He said no more. This little incident recalls innumerable examples I have seen of foreign maltreatment of our mother tongue. We may not be the world’s best in the matter of languages, but I defy anyone to find in England such grotesque solecisms as meet the eye everywhere abroad. There is a typical one at Swiss frontier stations, where notices announcing “Xo calling out for trains” are prominently displayed. It simply means that porters no longer give warning when trains are about to leave.

In one hotel placards intimated that “Visitors coming late cannot be served before the previous dishes/’ Some amends, however, were made by the management undertaking to do “woshing and clandering of all kinds at the usual charges.” Another hostel warned its guests that “visitors going to bed at an unusual hour are reminded their neighbours expect them to be quite as possible.” Quite quiet, in fact.

At another resort made famous by Mark Twain people anxious to see an Alpine sunrise used to rush outside wrapped in their bedclothes when the shepherd blew his horn. The custom quickly died out, however, after the manager posted up a notice saying: “Misters and venerable voyagers and mesdames are earnestly requested not to take the clothes of the bed to see the sunrise for the colour changes.” But perhaps the most priceless specimen of all was that. to be seen in a Black Forest hotel. “Put this prescription over your head that you may be quiet in the hotel. If you have any jewels give them to the manager. Afflictions on the personnel I pray to be confined to my person. Shoes and clothing will already appear on the door before going to sleep so that they can clean. The porter and the transport are not confined in the room. Support the button. One stroke for the maid . . three for the varlet.”