BY THE WAY-

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18467, 19 May 1928, Page 1

BY THE WAY-

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys). Sir Arthur Keith's discovery that the body lives after the brain"is dead is by no means new. Sixty years ago a hansom cab was advertised for sale in«the “Star. - I think it was the one I rode in the other day when I could not get a taxi. « x Small Boy: Dad, what’s an oper-' etta? Dad: A girl who works in a telephone exchange. & You are opposed to capital punishment, and then you hear a self-made man holding forth in the tram and you aren’t so sure. K The movies are true to life now, except that the innocent little thing never gets a wrong number when she phones for help. k 5*

Admitting that my wife cannot make pies like mother used to make, ■we break even. I can’t make the profits that father used to make. « ». « A Danish expedition is going to investigate the migration of eels. Perhaps the answer is the same as that to “ Where do flies go in the winter time? ' The flies just buzz oil, so the eels might just slip off. Mr Richard Glover does a round of the Addington golf links. Surrey, nearly every day. He is seventy-eight years old, so an English paper informs me. Well, that disposes of the idea that golfers grow old enough to know better. a It is said that a modern Sherlock Holmes can tell the race and sex of an individual with only a few hairs of the head as clues. My wife can better that. She can tell the sex of the individual I happened to give a lift to in my car with only one hair as a clue. 55 52 .52 I see the XZ. Publicity Department are. taking films of Heeney’s home at Gisborne. Xow here’s a conundrum: What journey in Xew Zealand is like unto Heeney's pilgrimage abroad ? Answer: A journey from Poverty Bav to the Bav of Plenty. 52 55 That Hyde Park affair is very curious. It is not ended yet. Money could not save a prosecution, there seemed to be nothing to hide, and now after the latest turn in events we do not wonder at' the girl s father being Savage. 52 52 52 The United States Government is inquiring into an alleged conspiracy to control the price of quinine. This item is not in commercial column because the man who runs it says: “ I dode see whad they’re baking all the fuss aboud. They cad have all the quidide if they wad it—the dab stuff’s no good ady-

The world is still quite a small place. :lood and Bloomfield were disqualified it the National Sporting Club for not riaking a fight of it by Mr J. W. H. T. Douglas. When he was in Australia vith the English cricket team the barackers translated Johnny’s initials as ‘ Johnny Won’t Hit To-day.” _ 55 55 55 The cables inform us that Lady Heath, after her flight from South Africa, glided down at Croydon as casually as if she had done just a ten minutes’ flight. Well, I always thought that an aeroplane came down just the same wherever it had come from. Unless they expected Lady Heath to nosedive on to the roof of the ’drome or come in flying upside down.

A League of Nations Committee that the sugar question was not sufficiently studied to permit of a searching investigation. That would make a good waterproof excuse for schoolboys failing to do their swot. “No. sir, I don't know that theorem because it hasn't been sufficiently studied.” Or a man could excuse himself being absent from work by telling the boss that he was somewhere else. The latest Ford story.—A man driving a powerful Stutz car found that a Ford, which had just turned out of a side street, kept the middle of the road and showed no inclination to let him pass. So he sounded his horn, and passed it. Presently the Ford came up behind him and took the lead again. This happened twice so he accelerated, passed the Ford, and let his car full out. Presently the Ford drew abreast, and the driver put bis head out. “I say.” he shouted. “ I’ve, got one of these y new Fords; can you tell me how to change from second to top gear? ” 52 55 55 It is a curious fact that people who stutter can memorise a poem and a song and recite or sing without'impediment. There was a mate on a ship and he stuttered. One day he rushed up to the captain, but was suffering so acutely that he could hardly get a syllable out. . “ Here.” said the captain at last, “ go away and come back in two hours and sing it to me;” In two hours the mate came back, saluted gravely and sang:— Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? The blankv cook's gone overboard, And is twenty miles behind. There was a time —five—ten years ago when the subject of women’s legs would be barred in a family journal like the “ Star.” The subject was not mentioned because they w&re not seen. I remember* about a year or so ago the shock this story gave the members of the Waimairi County Council. A New Zealander in an English boarding house, was naturally a booster of Canterbury lamb so he arranged for the landlady to have a leg of prime English lamb one night and the next night a leg of prime Canterbury. After the tneat portion of the mpal was consumed On the second night the New Zealander jumped to his feet. “ Now,” he said excitedly, ” which do you like best, the landlady’s leg or mine?” . If this story was told to-day no one •would think it out of place. There is nothing delicate now about ladies’ legs. If there is anything more robust on earth, I’ve not seen it. How they came to be hidden for so many centuries I will explain. Up to the time of the cave age, men and women took part in the chase. The deer or tiger or buffalo being slain, Dad would look round and pick out the stoutest- legs. These would be owned by one of the girls, and he would tell her to cart the animal hom* She would sling the half ton across her back and set ©ff That is the true reason why their legs have been covered. Women got wise. She was too shrewd to be a cart horse. Across the way from me lives Pharaoh Brown. He has legs like a canarv's and Mrs Brown's are like elephant's, yet Pharaoh will put in all this afternoon- digging and Mrs Brown will potter around with a handful of bulbs. Really she should do the digging and Pharaoh be the bulb sower. The time is ripe for change. Man should be sipping afternoon tea while his wife is nawying. Too long has she l>een dodging it, but we have oniy just found it out.