BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18466, 18 May 1928, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (Bjf One of the Boys). “ Feminine intuition ”* is a polite way of saying “ lucky guess ” Pi Si Si It is not true that Dr Thacker has promised a silver cup to the team who discovered the radio roarer. « Si 55 Patient: “ Doctor, what are my chances?” . , , . Doctor; ‘‘Oh, pretty good; but dont start reading any serial stories. M 52 S* , Husband: “ Why didn’t you ask that lady indoors instead of talking in the cold for nearly two hours?” Wife: “ I did, but she said she was in a hurry.” She; “ Darling, we cannqt marry. . . . . Father lost all his money at cards yesterday:” He: “That’s quite all right; I won it from him.” He (complacently): “ And what does your father think of me?” She: “He doesn’t know who you axe, vet—mother and I pretend you are from the gas company!” *.♦ Si J.J “ Tough luck,” said the egg in the monastery. “ Out of the frying-pan into the friar.” * SC Si Those who have the wolf frequently at the door should remember that there are many people who do not even possess a door. s*: « Binks: “You should be more careful to pull your blinds down at night. Last night I saw you kissing your wife.” Jinks: “Ha, ha, ha! The joke is on 3 r ou. I wasn’t at home last night.” With a remarkable sense of fitness, the Um-pah Shopping Week Committee displays in a Chinee fruitshop a poster urging people to “Support your own kith and kin.” « « A Scot, spending a week-end in London, wished to see one of the most famous expensive restaurants in town, without, however, incurring a bill. Therefore he walked in, ordered a glass Of water, had a good look round, and then prepared to leave. The proprietor, who had had an eye on the visitor, intervened. “ Look here,” he protested, “ you come in here, order a glass of water and then calmly walk out.” “ Well,” said the Scot, “ you could hardly expect me to stagger out after a glass of water.” We cannot vouch fqr the truthfulness of this story. The wife of a certain gentleman who has been closely mixed up with the proposals to disfigure the Square was called upon last Tuesday by a man who asked if she had any old clothes belonging to her husband 1 that she could give away. “ Well, there’s a hat and an old coat and a pair of trousers,” she said, “ but you don’t look like a man who usually begs for clothes.” “ Well, I’m not,” said the applicant, “ but, you see, we want to hang your husband in effigy during the students’ procession, and we wanted it to look as much like him as possible.”

From a hitherto unpublished fragment on the adventures of the Knights of the Round Table: “Then to the Court there came those who complained greatly that their peace was being mightily disturbed by a foul beast, whose roarings made their nights hideous and their days of no peace. Then stood forth Three Knights to offer to joust with the vile Roarer and to slay him, so that the lives of people should be no longer made unbearable, and their ear-drums burst asunder by the howlings of the dragon. And these three set forth from the Castle of Three Yah, and by diverse journeyings came to a far place, to lie in wait for the beast when it should come forth to howl. Then, after weary vigils and long waitings, behold, on a certain night commenced the noise of the Roarer, and the people gnashed their teeth and wailings filled the homes of the tribe. But the Three Knights boldly taking their Magic Costal and waving tenuous antennae before them, followed the trail of the roarings and come to the den of the beast and there encountered with him, and fought valiantly and slew him. and the rejoicings of the people filled the land even unto the heavens.