BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18406, 7 March 1928, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys). He stood outside the "Star” office in Gloucester Street last evening, and watched the sad faces of the people passing by. Old and 3*oung, they wore the imprint of sadness. |'The city of broken hearts,” he told himself. Here was the blankness of despair, the death of hope. Were these particular people the failures in life in an otherwise prosperous city? Why did they creep along dejectedly, like those who had given up the battle of life, and were turning disconsolately they knew not whither? And then light broke in on him: They were turning people away again from "Rose Maries’ «■» S'* "Have an accident?” asked the fellow who arrived too late at the scene of a motor-car wreck. "No, thanks,” replied the victim, as he picked himself up, "I've just had « «. Customer: ‘ls my suit pressed r Tailor: "Not yet.” Customer: "You promised to have it pressed if you worked all night.” Tailor: "Yes, but I didn’t work all night.” The new vicar called by mistake on a family of Baptists the other day, and, when little Cecil opened the door, the vicar asked why Cecil and his mother and father did not come to church on Sundays. “We don’t belong to your abomination,” was little reply. I heard one that caps Monday’s yarn about the Jew and the Scotchman at the golden wedding. Another Scotchman was invited to a wedding, and arrived with twenty fowls following him. He’d heard that rice was to be thrown outside the church. And another Scotchman, in an orchestra, was mean enough to paste his mother-in-law’s picture on the drum. x Talking about parking war relics in the Museum, there are a few relics who didn’t go to the war who ought to be sent to the Museum, too. The promoter of the American Marathon race expects to make 200,000 dollars. Mr Pyle’s pile. Following the argument that guns will awaken undesirable ma<rtial instincts in children, I’m going to see if the police can be disguised as clergymen, so that the kids’ thoughts won’t wander to such subjects as playing euchre and riding on the footpath. X X X What Lord Tennj r son most likely didn’t say: “ Douai want to see old Blighty any more? Douai? Yes, I do 1 ” X X X If Councillor Roberts wants to do away with reminders of the war, why doesn’t he pay off the war debt? One of our chaps has a fine contempt for cricket. He says that it wasn’t the scoring board that spoilt the Australian match—the scoring bored. x x I see they’re trying to get a reduction in bank overdraft rates. Dam the rates. I want to know how to reduce my overdraft. X X X " Singlespear and Silver Coot are a couple who should hold their ends up,” says the racing scribe. That’s right—keep your tail up, horsey. All this correspondence about the Hereafter reminds me. A swagger asked a fanner’s wife for a meal. The pious but inquisitive lady asked him: “Do you believe in the Hereafter?” “ Yes, mum,” he said. “ I'm hereafter a feed.” j.j ».j ».* “ No,” said the unemployed man from the city who had been working for a farmer out Horrelville way for a week. “ I’m going back to town to see what Mayor Archer can do for me. I can’t stand this ghastly silence in the country.” “ Aw, stick it out a little longer,” said the farmer. “In another month or so the frogs'll be croaking.”