BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18338, 15 December 1927, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) J. Murphy was first and F. R. Lamb was second in one of the photographic competitions of last night’s “Christmas Star.” It was a seasonable pair. Lamb and a Murphy will be our Christmas dinner. They’ll get the Mayor somehow. If he proves that he did not give his unemployed friends any jobs, they’ll say he’s getting too high and mighty to remember his unemployed friends. It could have been put better. An account of Mr Amery's visit to Nelson says:—“Mr Amery was entertained at luncheon and has a full programme today.” This story was told last night. At a pub were an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman. They stood before three foaming glasses of beer and by a coincidence, three flies committed suicide, one falling into each glass. The Englishman blew his out. the Irishman flicked his out. and the Scotsman picked his out and wrung it. M M The latest from the “ Breakfast Table” reporter:— “What, lady, not fresh? Eggs that just came from the country?” “What country ? ” Applicant for job on drainage board contract:—“What’s the chance for a fellow beginning at the bottom and working up?” Foreman: “None; our job is digging holes.” Young St Albans husband (reading newspaper) : “ I’m glad the short skirt looks like going out at last.” Wife: “Yes, darling; and I’m going with it. You can look after baby until I get back.” The film actor, who had been divorced five times, proposed again. “ I rather like you, Jim,” said the young woman, “but, you see, I’ve heard so many things about you “My dear,” interrupted the much-married actor, “you really must not believe those old wives’ tales.” * * * * Small Boy (arriving at Canterbury seaside bungalow) : “ Mummy, where is the bathroom?” Mother: “There isn’t any bathroom, dear.” “ Good! Then this is going to be a real holiday!” Local Police Sergeant: “ Have you caught that ‘borer’ burglar yet?” Constable: “No; but we’ve got him so scared that he doesn’t dare show himself when we’re about.” *.j “ I ought to have something to say about the expenditure in this house. I make the money—don’t I?” “Yes,” retorted wifie. “ You make the money; but, remember, I make- it stretch! ”