BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18062, 24 January 1927, Page 11

BY THE WAY.

SOME REFLECTIONS AND COLLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys). “ Remarkable results,” says a news item, “ have followed the glazing of the monkey houses at the London Zoo with vita-glass, which allows the ultraviolet rays of the sun to pass through. For instance, the orang-outang, who before the new glazing was bald all over, is now covered with bright chestnut hair.” Our local baldies have no ambitions in that direction. Parson (shocked) : “ So you sav your husband told you to go to the—cr —er! Well, what did you do then? Parishioner (brightly) ; “ Well, sir, I come straight to you! ” The dear old lady had been listening to the young singer at the “ at home.” “ Thanks s,o much for your song,” she said. “Jt took me back to my childhood’s days. I seemed to hear the old gate creaking in the wind.” ♦«s •.* 3 Sea-sick Passenger: “ I say, w-what about going back. After all, when you’ve seen one wave you’ve seen the lot.” tt tt tt Barber: “Hair-cut, sir?” Customer: “Yes, but don’t make it too short; I don’t want to look effeminate.” tt tt tt “ Did you take your cold bath this morning? ” “ No. There wasn’t any hot water.” tt tt tt A man who had been arrested on suspicion was appearing before the magistrate. “ What were you doing when the policeman came? ” asked the magistrate. “ Waiting, sir,” replied the prisoner. “ What were you waiting for? " “ For money.” “Who was to give you money?” “ The man I had been waiting for.” “ What did he owe it to you for?” “ For waiting.” “ Enough of this tomfoolery,” snapped the magistrate, who by now was very angry. “ What do you do for a living? ” “ I am a waiter, sir,” replied the innocent man. Little Girl (playing landlady, to prospective tenant); “ Have you any parents? ” “Yes, madam—two.” “ Ah, I’m sorry. We never take children with parents.” An observer at the tennis championships noted- that none of the lady semifinalists were shingled. Perhaps Samson was right after all. He kept his hair on. tt tt X One annoyance in sport is not so much in having so many amateurs turn professional as in having so many professionals remain amateurish. Aly idea of a small town is one where the taxi-driver at the railway station knows where you are going before you tell him. T . tt » Jt IS sometimes said that the youth of the present day has not enough care for the future. Here is an instance to the contrary. “Mummy” said a little maiden of ten years to her parent, “ where, are you and Daddy going to live when I get married? ” “ Why, here, of course.” replied the mother. “ Bu *>” expostulated the child, aghast at such selfishness, “what about me? ” tt tt tt Did she have her hair well done? Alarcellously. There is a record harvest in North Canterbury, and it has got about. Motor salesmen make the sparrow nuisance quite a minor trouble tt tt tt Cabled that, at the reception in Jamaica, the children sang, and afterwards the Duke and Duchess visited the banana plantations. After the Royal pair had left for the bananas and presumably the children did not go, what well-known song would thev sing. £IOO will be given to the first wrong answer.