BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17887, 1 July 1926, Page 1

BY THE WAY.

SOME REFLECTIONS AND COLLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) Reform, odder and odder, rate Labour as moderate, Their Press wails That the Reds have horns and tails. Suzanne at Wimbledon, A solution has tumbled on; She can’t get her desires, So again she retires. The boss of the" Public Work, At oratory is no Burke. For his lack of prolixity We can pick. -I trow, laxity. To-day’s true lie:—There was a lady in that electric train yesterday who admitted that she didn't have a first-class ticket. The traveller bustled into the office of Messrs Bunkum and Diddleum in Hereford Street, and confronted the office boy who was reclining in a (.hair with his feet on a desk. The boy was also smoking a cigarette and had his head buried in a penny dreadful. “Is the manager in. my lad?” asked the traveller. Stone silence. The boy continued reading and took no notice of the caller, who grew visibly impatient. He repeated the question again and verged on a lit of apoplexy when he saw he was still being ignored. “Is the manager in, boy?” he roared, when he had regained his breath. From the threatening tone of the voice the boy evidently thought it time to answer, for withdrawing the cigarette from his mouth, and puffing out a cloud of smoke, he answered in a languid but half-pitying voice as if the traveller should have known better. “Aw. cut it out! Ts the manager in? Does it look like it?” Glad to hear from you,. M'Haggis. Yes. I believe a column “Dourism from Dunedin.” will be started shortly. Fancy that villain telling v- q Pavlova did the Seann Truibhas. and you paying twenty-three shillings for a seat. Thought it a joke, did he? No wonder I liked that item describing the wonders of wireless. It stated that the glory of the thing was that all could listen alike. Yes, that's what T like about it. Everyone can listen cycrybcdy every man, woman, and child, but the best thing of all is that you can't hear anything if you don't instal a set. That is where it has the piano and gramophone licked proper. It is getting interesting. E. 11. S. says IT. J. K. like other cricketers, has cultivated* a one-eved stance.’ Now if IL J. K. replies and says that “E. H. S. like other footballers, has cultivated a club-footed vision,” the thing ought to be about square. Six-year-old Dorothy was .used .tq hearing more or less shop talk at home, both her parents being in the advertising business. During Come to ( 'hurch month she brought home from Sunday School a text. Her mother seeing something in her hand asked what she had. Dorothy replied with a little shrug of her shoulders, “Oh! only ail ad. about Heaven.”

Doubt is expressed as to whether orchardists who kill ’possums do so to protect their fruit or to get the animals’ skins. This opens up possibilities. For instance:—t A young man charged at the Magistrate’s Court with poaching trout strenuously denied that it Was the trout he was after. I-lis real object was to give the shags a jolt by reducing their food supply. A man charged with shooting ducks out of season said that he wouldn't eat wild duck if you paid him. llis idea in shooting the birds was that they had an unsettling effect on his tame di hs, which were so busy trying to ily u X they neglected today. Another man appeared on a chafgfe of killing native pigeons on the West Coast. Ilis defence was that the weather was so wet that the birds were all suffering from severe colds, and he thought it best to put them out of their misery, at the same time improving the virility of the breed by weeding out the birds with weak chests. A farmer admitted killing deer without permission, but pleaded in extenuation that they demoralised his cows. He had to stalk them everv time he wanted to bring them in for milking, and already suffered from corns on the chest. A supercilious young man thinking to take a rise out of the girl in the hat checking department of a local tea-rooms remarked: “That’s not my hatl” 'Maybe not,” came the retort, “but

its the one you were wearing when you * * * * A sporting writer in a Christchurch daily says that Charlie Emerson began his riding career in 1895 and sets out his most important, successes to date. A weekly journal, from the same office, on the same day says Charlie was born in 1895 and began riding in 1908. In 1895 Charles was riding on his mother's knee, and, probably in that year he got first cup—Birthclay Cup.