BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17877, 19 June 1926, Page 2

BY THE WAY.

SOME REFLECTIONS AND COLLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) You’ll find if you meander Through Reform propaganda All proposals viewed with hope Through the small end of a telescopeThe chairman of the Bank of New Zealand directorate after declaring a profit of £912,160, said that what was wanted was to follow the teaching of the Nazarene. The office boy says that the Bank’s own prophet would prove a strong counter attraction. “ What about coming round for this evening?” 44 Glad to, old chap. ” 41 We’ve just put in a wireless set. ” 44 Great Scot! I’ve just remembered an appointment. ” 44 Some other night then. It is just as well, the aerial is down. ” “ Well, I daresay I can cancel the appointment. ” “And I’ll get the aerial fixed. ” 44 Perhaps I’d better keep my appointment. ” 44 Yes, I just remembered the mast is completely broken. ” “ After all I I’ll come. ” Ladies stockings have had vertical stripes, cross bands, and they have had square patterns; they have been every colour, every shade, every sheen, and every texture. About the only odd thing they have not been, is to be odd. That is for next year: One vivid green one, and the other signal red- That ought to be the last ditch, unless they take to walking on their hands and waving them in the air. Si Si Si What about these suburbs occasionally printing their names phonetically in brackets on their notices. Take Waimairi for instance. It gets Wy-me-re. Wy-my-re, Wy-me-ry, Wy-my-ry. Waimeree. And Heathcote. Js it Heetheoat, or Ileethcot, or Hethcoat, or Hethcot? And when that is discovered I want to know which syllable gets the accent. I asked Bill Smith how to pronounce it, and he said it was 44 ’eathcot, ’ and Mrs Romney Brown calls it 44 Haithcot. ” But the} r can be ignored. « That sparrow that visits the Museum has no fear, but the prize for nerve goes to the bird that leans over your shoulder in the tram and reads your paper. Si Si si The chairman of Directors of the Bank of New Zealand at the annual meeting yesterday must have been hard up for something to say when he remarked that some of the freezing works were doing a freeze. VOYAGING. Old Mrs Jones was about to embark on her first aeroplane ride and, naturally enough, was a bit timid about the adventure. 44 Now, before we start, young man, ” she cautioned the pilot, 44 1 want it distinctly understood that we’re not to get out of sight of land- ” A lie.—Once there was an editor who sent out a rejection slip reading : “This stuff is terrible. Please lay off us in the future. ” si A Fairy Tale.—Once upon a time a man bought a soft collar, and when he wore it, it looked just as it did in the advertisement. He had taken her about everywhere in their first month of acquaintance.. On the way home one night he gently put his arm over the back of the seat. 44 Goodness! ” exclaimed the dear thing. “Don’t you men ever think of anything else? ” Artists' models aren’t as bad as they’re painted. Jt is understood that there is a movement on in France to provide that if one of her citizens gets the premiership three times it become his own property. si :* A little yearning is a dangerous thing. The chimney-sweeps’ paradise—The Lyttelton Tun You’re right. Talking of Paradise: There is a great difference of opinion regarding Paradise. Some people consider that Paradise for them is a gloriously drunken state. Some people believe that Heaven is their Paradise; and then, again some people consider their Paradise to be a city’s beautiful parks and gardens filled with hospital buildings. It is useless being an early bird these mornings; the worm is frozen in.