SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17042, 16 May 1923, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Readers are invited to send in original topical paragraphs of verso* for the column, which is a daily feature of the blixe," Accepted contributions should he cut out by the writers and forwarded te the Editor, who will remit the amounts payable. THE NEW FOOTBALL. “ A Prehistoric Player ” writes:— ‘ Dear Sin bad, —As one of those who played Rugby in the good old days about the time when the Otira* tunnel was started, I may be allowed to make a few remarks. In the prehistoric day* 1 have mentioned football was very interior to what it is in these times, because so many improved rules have now been adopted. For instance, in the dim past, if a full-back received the ball in his own tw’enty-five, lie would foolishly attempt to keep the game going. Nowadays I notice that he very wisely kicks the leather over the dead-ball line. The advantage of the latter method is apparent. He takes no risk of hurting himself, and saves hi« side at the same time. Then, again, when I played Rugby we were ridiculously fastidious about playing the ball instead of the man. The modern rule, however, appears to be as follows: —Disregard the ball entirely. If an opponent is in front of you, knook him down as roughly as possible. Then, if he be sufficiently small, stand on his chest. Dig your heels well in to secure a firm footing, at the same time raising your hand abo\ r e your head. Wait patiently in this position until the referee awards your side a free kick. Should he be so misguided as to order a scrum, use abusive language to him while the scrum is being formed.

‘•'The superiority of modern foot ball is, I believe, due to improved rules such as those I have described.” I loved my dear Belinda well, And swore to love her all my life; 1 longed far more than tongue can teil To ask her to become my wife. And then the Competitions came : She made her mind up to recite, And so to win undying fame; Her class came off the other night. At home I’d heard her once or twice Some pleasing little verses say; I really thought it very nice, She looked so charming, young and gayBut when she came upon the stage The heart within my bosom fell; That night she counterfeited rage, And oh! she did it far too well! Her glassy eyes with frenzy rolled, She gnashed her teeth and frowned and hissed. Her mouth seemed fashioned just to scold. The little mouth I oft had kissed. 1 listened in complete dismay A\ r h ile she in anger raged and stormed ; She drove all thoughts of love away And smashed the loving plans I’d formed. 1 thought of what would be my fate Tied up to such a wife as that; 3. I stayed out a bit too late She’d surely have me on the mat. Howe’er she smiled I’d always see The raging shrew behind the mask ; The risk is far too great for me, That question now I’ll never ask. ‘‘ Alay Snow in England.” —News paper heading. This. I presume, is a sister of AVill Snow in New Zealand. Things which no young lady ever does if she can help it: — Be the first down in the morning and not the last up at night. Keep an account-book in jilace of an album. Consent to sit down to the piano or anything under the dozenth time ot asking. Pay a morning call in last year’s hat. Do plain needlework in place ot fancy collar stitching. Return from morning service without bringing home an inventory (exact to a ribbon) of all the new toilettes which have been displayed there. AA’ear shoes of any other than the most wafer-like construction, especially in wet weather. Alend her own things and her younger brother’s. Travel twenty miles without eighteen packages, seventeen of which she might easily dispense with. Be seen to eat more at a dinner table than a couple of canaries could. And, finally, take less than forty minutes to “run and put her hat on.” An Israelite woman was sitting in the same box at the opera with a well-known physician. She was much troubled with ennui and gaped once very wide. “Excuse me, madam,” said the doctor, giving a start, “ I am glad you did not swallow me.” “ Give yGurself no uneasiness.” responded the lady. “ I am a Jewess, and never eat pork.”

“Jones,” said a sympathising neighbour to a bachelor friend about to marry, “ what in the world put matrimony into your head?” “ AA T ell,” replied Jones, “ the fact is I was getting short of shirts.” Current gossip has it that Douglas Fairbanks is likely to select either \Veliington or AVanganui as the ‘* location ” for scenes in his New Zealand picture. Being a Southerner, lam impartial in views, and I really think that Wellington would suit the film player best. Look at the scope i for originality. For instance, no- ! where on earth does the wind blow as !it does in our capital city. AYhat a hit a scene like the following would make ! Alan walking down the street. Hat blows off. Does he chase it? Not on your life. Every man within easy distance immediately sprint* aftei the. headgear. Insert caption “ Portly persons pursue the potae.” Close-up of Fairbanks somersaulting over the multitude and rescuing the hat from the wheels of a passing tram. Immense. Or he might, illustrate AVellington ’s wind power by picturing a woman tossing the dust bin in the air. The ashes and lighter material is immediately swept away into the void, while the heavier rubbish is conveyed to the Chinese market gardens to be turned into manure. It would be .something of a novelty this in a Fairbanks picture. As a fitting conclusion to a- film depicting the uses of wind in AVellington a close-up view of Parliament Buildings could bo shown. AVhat has AVanganui to offer? Merely a river and a photograph of the only spoon left on the tables after the ban quet to the Prince of Wales. “ AVasn’t the Hon Thomas Jefferson Pompleigh once mentioned for a Cabinet office? ” “ Yes.” “How did it affect him?” “ His wife ha* been supporting the family ever since.” A man was recently charged with being found drunk in the Wanganui River. T have always contended that the AVanganui was one of the river* I should not cane to be found drunk in.