SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16927, 29 December 1922, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Readers are Invited to send in original topical paragraphs or verses for this volumn, frhioh Is a daily feature of the "Star." Accepted contribution* should be out out by the writers and forwarded ; to the Editor, who will remit the amounts ! payable. Said a silly young fellow named Doak, j “Oh let. the Earth quake”—and it j quoke! Then swiftly said he, ‘ ‘ This is no good to me ! What I said was by way of a joke!*' The hands of the clock pointed to ten minutes past nine as the last member ot the office staff sauntered in. The Christmas holidays were over an d another year of work had begun. Hullo. Brown!” said one man cheer fully to a fair individual with a brick red countenance and a peeling nose. '‘ V hat sort of holiday did you have?’’ “ Ripping.” replied Brown enthusiastically. as ho vainly strove to case the rub of his collar against his sunburnt neck. “Top-hole, but by .Tove! You ought to sec my shoulders, they're just about raw. Had to spend a day in bed I was so badly burnt.” He sat down in his chair and leant back very carefully. “ What did you do. Turner?” ho inquired of a tall man. also sunburnt, who sat on the edge of the table, swinging bis legs. “ Oh, I went on a walking tour,” ho said. “ Had a gorgeous time. A\ e ran out. of tucker onco though, and had to do a twenty mile walk on n hearty meal of n hunk of bread and a. square inch of chocolate. T’ve got n whopping blister on my heel | —had to lie up all yesterday Tt was a 1 jolly good tour, all the same.” “ And I - ‘Sellars?” someone asked a rather | corpulent man with a sandy moustache j who was sharpening a pencil over bv the window. “Me?” he said. “Oh. T I had a. thorough rest—stayed at home j sat underneath trees or lav in the 'hammock reading and smoking —that’s jmv idea of a restful holiday.” The i striking of the half hour roused most- of them to the fact that work was waiting I to he done. “ Poor old *’ said Brown some hours; later ns he and two others were preparing to leave the office for lunch. “ He never seems t'o have reallv decent holiday as we do. and absolutely enjoy himself ” He ran his fin Tier gino'erlv round the edge of his collar “ Dnmr. this sunburn.” be peevishly. “ Here, yon clumsy blighter. mind mv sore heel.” cried Turner in anxious tones.

Not wishing to disappoint all those good people who look forward so eagerly to their Christmas story, T have after much deliberation pie pared the following. You need have no fear good reader, for you know the plot bv heart T trust it will please for it is stereotyped for the most critical, and impossible enough for the most romantic. In this wise : Christmas Day dawns. Up through the air there ascends the sweet notes of the carol-singers, while the sound of distant hells floats softly across the green fields. V ifhin a Tittle cottage, covered in fragrant roses and smothered in perfumed honey suckle, sits a man and a woman, both of them old and bent, with silvered hair and stooping shoulders. The woman, whose sweet face is lined with care, gazes with unseeing eyes at the garden, a tangle of riotous colour. A big tear trickles slowly down the wrinkled cheek, and the old man. his own eyes filling with tears, blinks them back bravely and lays his rough hand on his wife’s shoulders clumsily, yet with a world of love in his touch. “ Eh, Jenny lass,A he says huskily, “it’ll come hard to leave the little home where we’ve lived and worked for forty year. Tt’ll come hard. Jennv lass, hut don’t fret, my dearie, don’t ’ee fret. They say the work’us is a terrible good plaoe nowadays. Silently she pressed his fingers and they were still, thinking sadly of the past- and of the future. Of the past, when they had come home through the rose-drenched .English twilight—he a tall stalwart young giant, and she a starry-eyed bride. Of the day, the wonderful dav. when their son had been born, and they had called him Dirk after hi 9 grandfather. And of the dav when he had left. Suddenly a step sounded on the cobbled path—the door was opened, and a figure hesitated on the threshold. It was a tall, broad figure, with a face bronzed by the out-of-doors, that spoke of wide spaces, and sweeping winds and nights spent under cold stars. A figure altered almost beyond recognition. vft which the mother-lore recognised.' “ Dick, my wee lad.' she breathed, and in an instant he had crossed the room and gathered her in his strong o rras. “Father, mother.” he said unsteadily, holding them fast and telling them of how he had been to the colonies. roughing it, and now was rich—rich beyond their wildest dreams “ And, oh, my Jenny lass.” cried the old man, brokenly. “ Jenny lass, it won’t be the work’us after all.” Thus did the Prodigal son return, and so. as says Small Forges in Jeffrey Farnol’s “Money-Moon.” all was revelry ’n jov.” Wliat was the cause of the earthquake? Professor Hawruss gives it as his considered opinion that the recent disturbances. which were not too severe.to be recorded by tho private seismograph which lie keeps chained up in the backyard, was caused bv patriotismhe explains that it was the attempt of Canterbury soil to put the wind up the English cricket team. Mr L. O. N. Cf. Shandy considers it is tho rejoicings of Pluto which are disturbing dwellers on earth Pluto, he says, is rejoicing because Prohibition was not carried, the news of its defeat having just penetrated the lower regions. Dr Watson says it was probably caused by the subsidence of a fault in the limestone strata, of North Canterbury. The world-famous detective, Shamlock Shears, says that he deals only with human mysteries. Tf this one was caused by a human, he docs not desire to meet him. My wife knows, however After it was finished she said: “Well, never again will T lie down in the afternoon before having a wash !” *' The Dail President echoes hopes for reconciliation,” we are told. But this of course is only his Dail-v performance. I am asked to state that the local bricklayers disclaim all responsibility for the recent earthquake. Tt is 7iot an attempt on their part to increasa business. A contemporary, in referring to an old Parliamentary official’s account of the time when Parliament was assembled by mistake, says: “Ho could, no doubt, have provided some interesting details of the sitting had he kept a dairy, as. unfortunately, he had omitted to do.” Thus the cream of the joke was lost. SIN BAD.