SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16895, 21 November 1922, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Readers are invited tc send in original J topical paragraphs or verses for this ! column, which is a daily re.uura of the i ‘ Star.'' Accepted contributions should ; be cut out by tbe writers end forwarded to the Editor, who will remit tho amounts | payable. Ci Well, dear. I said this morning, ; through my usual mouthful of egg and ' bacon. I have decided at last. lam ! going to stand as a member of Parlia- f i “Oh, indeed!’’ said the wile, setting | I down the c-offeee-pot, and glaring at, mo I with a rather suspicious air, 1 thought, i “Yes,” J replied firmly. ‘I m sick ! ;of all this petty twaddle. What with ; : Reform candidates rising like niushi rooms, and Archer’s Message, a decent, j sober, respectable, steady-going citizen j | like myself doesn't know what to do.” i ' “I could answer that for you.’ re- j I plied my wife, in a nasty way which j ! ehe assumes occasionally “There’s that I i lawn uncut yet, and there’s the baby’s ’ cradle wants a rocker, and the coalscuttle’s empty.*' “ Yes, yes. dear. I'll see to it. You | know. T received a deputation tins j morning. It, presented a petition that 1 T should stand for N.X.E. Christchurch. The deputation, which was headed by Mrs S. A. P. Head and Miss R. Skin- i forit. gave a lot of reasons why they ! thought T was rc suitable man. At last, r consented.” • And may I ask what were some of | those reasons?” said my wife in her i best sarcastic manneer. ‘• Oh !*’ I replied airly, “ they that as 1 was an honest (sniff), sober (gasp), intelligent (sneer), and courageous (good imitation of a' faint) man, they thought T would make a good memebr, and represent their inj terests well. ! “ And now what are you going to i do?” queried the wife. You know she l is rather tactless at times. F didn’t i in the lea.st know what J was going to do. But I had to sav something. Bo T i said : “Well— eri-1 think—no, I don't ; think I’ll tell von. 1 don’t think it’s | fit for a woman to know,” I concluded i with a great air of firmness. | “ Oh. darling! Do tell me!” wbis | pored the temptress. J “Well.” T admitted reluctantly, * I’m going tc rely on one thing. I’m ’ going to publish a “ Daily Message” in ! the columns of the ‘ Star.’ "\ es. I m | going to start to-morrow night. on ! watch for it. It'll he some good.” | “And I’m sure you'll get in!” cried I the wife, carried away by her enthusiasm. “ and I'll come up to Wellington with you. I'll l>e a proud woman, the wife of Mr Sinbad. M.P. for N.N.E. Christchurch. I’ll tidy your locker for you, and sweep out your lobby. “And who’ll look after the kids?” I asked brutally.” (Curtain.) Employees of master bakers in Canterbury arc seeking improved conditions. —News par. I interviewed Mr Pat- E. Caike. secretary of the Bakers Employees’ Union yesterday, and be told me that their claims were as follow: No work should be done by any employees after noon on Mondays, I uesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. and Saturdays. No worker should be allowed to soil himself by handling any flour. Every broad-baker must have a breadbaker's assistant. Every break-baker’s assistant must have n bread-baker's assistant’s apprenEverv bread-baker’s assistant’s apprentice must- have a. broad-bakers as sistant’s apprentice’s boy. (This demand is based on the Bricklayers’ Award, and everybody knows what a close affinity there is between bricklayers and bread-bakers.) Should these demands be refused, added Mr Caike, in conclusion, a strike will be called and the- bakers, down to tbe last baker’s assistant’s apprentice’s boy, will bake nothing but buns, and more buns. The Prime Minister said that finance was a big tiling. —Report of recent speech. Oi course, it is by remarks such as these, full of the weighty wisdom of years and ripe experience, that we are able to gauge correctly the mighty minds, the stupendous intellects, the wonderful brains of the men who rule Dr L. O. N. G. Shandy writes : —“1 * see that the physicians of New '> ork are ; protesting against the enforcemyni‘ e the Volstead Law. and quite rightly, too 1 mu wholly at one with the Dean ; Emeritus of the College of Physicians ; and Surgeons, when he protests against ■ the interference with prescriptions. He says that leaving out whisky in some ot - his prescriptions has endangered the lives of his patients. T agree with him. Yes. cordially. For 3 have ex- • pcricncod his difficulty: I lef ■ u whisky out of one of my prescript,ons that T was making up tor myself and 1 nearly died. It just shows that you can’t be too careful. s Two men were standing on a London ' platform the other day watching h gentleman who appeared to fie a norson of distinction. One remarked that, he was the Archbishop of Oanterburv. ! The other was frankly sceptical, but at j « last agreed to approach the gentleman , r and find out. The “prelate turned to .. ( him and said, a little testily perhaps: j: “' AVhat. the blanketv blank are >Oll . t talking about?” This reply sent ..he f poor man hack to his informant rat c disconcerted. “Bill.” he said. ej o won’t tell me. ’ e *** j 1 After the street car had proceeded a s few blocks a peeved passenger begir: v to complain, and the conductor »Pp«° ( gized for the poor “ rolling stork . , “Rolling stock!” fried the passeno,or “If you call this car rolling stock I’d like to see one that jumps.” “ Pa,” demanded the strictly up-to- . the-minute irrepressible, playing with his new radio set. “what wave-length j( for Santa Claus r 1” A year ago it was the bobbed hair i ** craze that was growing. Now it’s the j bobbed hair. *** ! t Do you believe in homicide? There is the partner who always ji, trumps my ace. ; n Tliere’s the girl in the flat above , }i with a penchant for grand opera. j H My neighbour. the church-going !i, Perkins, is always urging me in front j of my wife to weed the garden on ; Sunday on the ground that “ tlie Fiefi- j ter the day. the better the deed.” | h I can invariably depend on Banks i n (yho once caught me in a weak mo- j a ment trying to strum a ukulele) sug- • ex gesting in a loud voice at every party tl that [ jazz off a few tunes on the jOl darned insturment. m There are the Joneses, who are .tl always giving me pieces of poetry • to xead that their little daughter Jane j <r just dashed off. and don’t I think the j «< editor would he awfully grateful to • yet them ? The Binkses, who have found out r ' [ know a, theatre manager, are firmly .’ convinced my mission in life is to “ supply them with tickets without • charge to all the good shows in ■tl :own. la And then there’s the model hus- !tl >and next door who never stays out ! m jeyond nine o’clock and always goes ■ K :o church with his wife. j Do you believe in homicide? I do. | vt SINBAD. -h