SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16818, 22 August 1922, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Readers are invited to send in original topical paragraphs or verses for this column, which is a daily feature of the “Star.” Accepted contributions should be cut out by the writers and forwarded to the Editor, who will remit the amounts payable. It’s of no great moment, yet you may be interested to learn there are still thirty-four concerns in the United States manufacturing corkscrews. FAMOUS- ALIBIS OF HISTORY. Adam—“ The woman tempted me and I did eat.” Gain—“ Am I my brother’s keeper?” Pontius Pilate—“ I am innocent of the blood of this righteous man. See ye to it.” Brutus —“ Not that I loved Caesar less. But Rome more.” Macbeth —=“ Thou canst not say I did it.” Othello—“ Speak of me as one that loved not wisely but too well.” Mr J- McCombs—lt's all right, Mr Speaker. «.* Irene and Claudia, were actresses Who lived togther. I liked Irene because she was So lovely and so naive. If you know what I meanOne day Claudia received an expensive gift From an admirer. And she said to me, “ Why don’t you buy One like this for Irene, you like her And can afford it?” Irene wa.s so mortified that I bought a more expensive gift— Merely to lessen her humiliation. Two weeks later Bill, my pal. Told me what a charming girl Claudie was. He was calling on her one night and Irene Showed him a, wonderful gift she had received From an admirer, And, greatly to the surprise and Humiliation of Claudie, Irene suggested that Bill, who could afford it, Buv Claudie one, too. He" did. The poor chump. Let’s sing! What if again we fail to find Our treasure at the rainbow’s end? There’s more of life to spend in quest! Who knows what lies around the bend ? Lvu’s laugh! What matters sorrow after all If we forget and try once more ? Life’s just a restless, troubled sea. And we’ll pull bravely for the shore! Let’s smile! And in that smile no bitterness! Let’s sing, and in that song no tears! Let’s laugh, and in that laugh forget the things That always come to all with passing years!

The Kaiser, so the papers say, Is publishing a book. He’s trying to explain away The rotten part he took By plunging all the world in war To gain his selfish ends. Where once he used to rant and roar He now to fawning bends. For in bis book he clearly shows That he has been maligned ; His wicked and revengeful foes Have stabbed him from behind. To go to war lie never sought, *Twas sore against his will That his great armies ever fought— He hates to maim and kill. He tells how hard he strove for peace When he was urged to fight. And how his efforts did not cease From morning until night. The brutal deeds that mark the Hun He cannot justify; And so he says they were- not done, ’Twas all a wicked lie. His mode of speech has altered quite From when, with brag and blow. He cried the only rieht was might And spoils to victors go. For since he lost his golden crown No more he can aspire^ He’s laid his old war trumpet down And taken np the lyre. THEN AND NOW.

Departed is the. gentle age when youth and damsel took the stage and rang sweet tender songs of love and danced like angels from above. The man would swear his heart, was true, the girl would smile and bill and coo. and when he d catalogued her charms he’d gently take her in his arms, while sentimental flappers clapped and all the joys of Heaven tapped. But now the man walks with a frown—the woman looks him up and down, observes that he is always “ shick” and tries to hit him with a bricks The man replies with rude remarks, and then at him abuse she barks. They then decide they’d letter sing, and perpetrate an awful thing. She on some ragtime makes a start — he does his best to break ber heart by singing out of tune and time and acting like an ass sublime. They give it up and start to dance, and leave the rhythm a.ll to chance. She gets annoyed and smacks his face for dragging her around the. place, and tears out several chunks of hair till he subdues her wfth a chair. Then in the lung he stabs her twice and she shoots at his liver thrice, and as they both sink to the floor the audience demands some more. The age of chivalry is past, and tender lovers cannot last, so if You want to “catch a. tab.” just polish up your short arm jab. MISUNDERSTOOD. “Fair maid,” quoth he, “I beg of thee To fly, to fly. to fly with me.” “ Young man,” said she, “now don fc you be— Too fly, too fly, too fly with me.” He told the shy maid of his love, The colour left her cheeks— But on the shoulder of his coat. It showed for several weeks. Com an a vad rink : Stir poppy juice into the wine And let the mingled draught be mine; Yes, let the fires of youth leap high, And then, in dreams of fancy, die. The heart craves life, the soul craves flight— A health to each, before ’tis night! Stir poppy juice into the wine And let the mingled draught be mine An American says that he s free all right: Fellow Citizens: One hundred and forty-six years ago the British owned us. Now they owe ns. We got our independence by fighting for it. To-day we are Free! Outside of the trusts and labour unions and capital and combines and walking delegates and housemaids and cooks, income taxation, the Volstead Jaw, war profiteers. apartment landlords, and a few other trifling matter*. we are free! Lvkeil ! Lvkell! Lvkell ! SIXBAD