ANCIENT ACHES.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16740, 23 May 1922, Page 8

ANCIENT ACHES.

(By WALT MASON). There are so many ways of curing tlio aches that torture bone and thew it does seem strange we are enduring the same old pains our fathers knew. On our main street the signs are swinging, the signs of healers by the score, who’ll start our dismal hearts a-sing-ing if we’ll dig up five bones or four. By every mail f get a letter from one practitioner or two who’d free me from the gout or tetter, the rheumatism or the flu. And all these healers I have trusted, I’vo paid them money by the yard ; I’ve had my ancient spine adjusted and I’ve been boiled, in rancid lard; I’ve taken pellets green and yellow, I’ve taken tablets flat and square, and, guided by some healing fellow, consumed a horse’s bill of fare. I’ve taken brown and brindled bitters, and pilJe that taste like toilet soap, for bo must rank with tinhorn quitters who doesn’t sample every dope. And yet with all my ceaseless taking I'm where I was long years ago, and as my grandsire’s bones were aching so my old bones much anguish know. I read how science knocks diseases and wipes out human aches and stings; I also read some other wheezes concerning pigs that fly with wings. The science tales are most alluring, but while I read them irt my lair I wonder why we’re still e.nduring rheumatics, mumps and falling hair.