SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16680, 11 March 1922, Page 8

SPINDRIFT.

I The Right Hon Austen Chnmberlai: j said that ho did not think legislation . to make voting compulsory vaa advif able.—Gable. I—have—hoard —some —talk of Aot of Parliament Thab—ahould—make —this votin ! " game compulsory ; n V otes- —votes—-votes —votes — puttin a Massey in again, And there's no reprieve if you don’t When—the —polls—are—held wifchii a month or two, s All—must take—good—care and g a and register; i. Votes—votes —votes—votes— put tin ,1 Massey in again, 0 And there's no reprieve if you don't burglary To—put—in—a-—vote for Opposition ists. :1 Votes—voters—votes votes mus r put Massey in again, •, And there’s no reprieve if you don’t o And—the—man —who—dare suppor the labourites - Will—be—drawn and quartere for not registering 3 Votes-—-votes—votes —votes— puttim 3 Massey in again, ft And there’s no reprieve if you don’t a J list—think—how —a man migh tumble in the soup. If—he—were—-a-—way from hom and did not lodge 0 Votes-—votes—votes - votes— puttin: Massey in again, 3 And there’s no reprieve if yon don’t But—l—fear—the—scheme will no eventuate, a And—old—Bill—will —fail to gathe f up the needed Votes—votes —votes —votes— puttin; _ Massey in again, 3 And he’s got no hope if they don’t. Women always have and always wi] keep men guessing. A merchant em s ployed a homely cook because h fc thought he could keep her. Within y few months, a young man married he 3 for the same reason. What can they know of Ireland wh only England know? 3 The question is not what is th country coming to, but when is it com 3 ing to. r “ Numerous. complaints have bee: made to the Ellesmere County Counci r of the danger to traffic occasioned b; an apiary situated close to a publi road at Irwell. It was pointed out ii 5 the event of bees attacking horses pas 3 sing along the road serious accident would be likely to happen. One re si dent of the district who wrote to th« council stated that he could not usthe road owing to the danger that ex k isted. He had experienced one acci 5 dent due to bees.” _ Among the complaints received wa y the following : Sirs.-—I wish to complain of the in _ vasion of my house by a stout, full grown, apparently able-bodied bee, thproperty of Mr Lew Czerne. I kncv it was his, for I distinctly saw hi brand on the animal's side—a stinj rampant on a field of clover, with hive couchant, supported by two blue bag j versant, motto, “ All or Nothing.” “ Well, sirs, the animal absolutely P declined to leave my home. I shot a it twice with my nfle, wounding r P slightly* but it merely buzzed derisive p ly A and stung me on the left ear. I then organised, led, and successfully carried out a raid on our Sunday joint which it carried to the top of a tali ’ tree in the garden, and there devoured it. After this theft, it returned to the house to commit fresh depredations. J “I tv as just about at my wits’ end 1 when the noxious creature apparently began to weaken from the loss of its sting. Its eyelids dropped heavily, and it moved slowly and with difficulty. I was just about to slay it with a sledge-hammer when it gathered it 9 re. ' maming strength together and flew listlessly away.” The chairman instructed that Mr I>ew ‘ Czerne be written to, recommending •him to keep his bees safely chained up in future. In view of the immense interest ' aroused by the North v. South match. ' I have been led to take more interest 1 in the ancient and royal game of cricket than has been my custom in the past. * Consequently, when a friend the other ’ afternoon suggested a round, or rub--1 ber. or whatever they call it, I agreed wfith an enthusiasm which surprised 1 even myself. 1 I was not quite certain as to the uniform, so I compromised with riding trousers, running shoes and a foot--1 ball jersey. On arriving at the Park I was. however, taken in hand by the 1 groundsman, and soon appeared in the suit of glorified pyjamas which, it 1 seems, is de rigueur for*this form of amusement. “Ever bowl?” someone asked me. I replied that I skipped a rink at United on Saturday afternoons, that is, indeed, when I did not skip Saturday altogether. So they handed me the kitty, and told me to do nay worst. I must have been in excellent form, for I soon (observe the professional touch) found a length.” Indeed, after the first shot, which hit the umpire, I managed to hit the batsman every time. Finally my opponents bogged me, as a special favour, to spare him and aim at the gadget of sticks and things behind him. T sent down one ball, and then the umpire shouted “Over.* “ Liar!” I cned indignantly. “ it was low right, three fingers, five o’clock. Then, turning to the other batsman. I said: ” Threa fingers at five o’clock is right isn’t it?” and he smacked his lips and replied, “ Two right I’* They gave me a rest- then, and J went and sought the shade of the canteen. Somehow, my recollection of the rest *>f the matcft seems very fragmentary. I have a suspicion that someone introduced a couple of extra halls into the game later on, as. when T went in to bat, they came down three at a time, and one of them always managed to hit me. I find, on referring to the scoring book, that I r.m referred to there as “out 5.0. w.,” which, I am informed, means “ sat on wicket.” So I shall stick to croquet in future. j The city of Oakland. U.S.A.. braes of a girl, not yet sixteen years old. who has been both married and divorced. Personnllv T reckon *he ought fo be spanked with a hairbrush and sent back to her dolls and tovs. SINBAD