SPINDRIFT.
AN INSCRIPTION FOR THE COMFORT STATION. This is the spot where John Godley stood— A man held in great veneration ; We shifted him out —we’re the sort that would— To make room for this comfort station. He founded the province ; he did his work, And built up a fine reputation. But bother the past 1 It’s lost in tho mirk! See our beautiful comfort station! Friendship between women is merely a suspension of hostilities. The man with the sense of humour is he who appreciates the joke we make. * • Is there a woman who has not a fittle swear concealed somewhere in her vocabulary? She was stepping on to a tram last night, and her head struck the movable bar a hearty bump. “Oh, hell!’ she ejaculated, with considerable emphasis. There was not a man on the car who would not have said it for her. • • Wisdom is known by the company it keeps out of. Even the water in "Lake Coleridge is coming into line with everything we buy. The Minister of Public Works tells Dr Thacker it is pretty high. “ Father, I need a new riding habit.” “ Can’t afford it,” growled father. “ But, father, what am I to do without a riding habit? ” 14 Get the walking habit.” Horseshoes forged by the German exCrown Prince at Wieringen are being sold at ten guilders (about 17s) apiece, the receipts being divided between the Prince and the local blacksmith. This would doubtless commend itself to Professor Condliffe as a great example of division of labour. The blacksmith makes the shoes, and the Crown Prince spits on them, I suppose. Trouble occured among the native police at Calcutta. A meeting of 300 people roughly handled a European sergeant. They then burned the uniforms of the police.—Cable. Query : Where were the police ? A certain business man, who believed in brevity and directness in all matters, social as well as business, admonished his son on the latter’s departure to school to make his letters home short and to the point. Not long after, he received the following ideal communication: “Hear Dad.—S.O.S., L.S.D., R.S.V.P —Jack.” What was the greatest pandemonium in the world? When Solomon said : “ Now, girlies, last into bunk puts the candle out!” *** When a kinematograph operator was taking pictures of railway construction works he asked a ganger if he could “ take ” a party of men working in .a cutting. “ No, you can’t,” was the I reply- } Surprised by this gruffness, the pic- ; ture man explained that he did not j want to interfere with the job. All he j wanted was to get a close-up cf the I navvies ns they toiled in the cutting. ! “ That’s all very well,” said the ; ganger, “ but you can’t take a moving J picture of my men. The never I move.” One circus attendant was sent to hospital, injured by a flying trunk.—Cable describing an elephant hunt. This is certainly a new one on me. I’ve heard of a flyin" and a flying fish, but a flying trunk ! No! “ A Kitchener Film. Scene in London Theatre.”—Newspaper heading. Well, where else ? There i 3 a* “ chess boom ” on in New Zealand since tho war. I didn’t know it, but so I’m told. The trouble with chess, though, as far as its general popularity is concerned, is that the bookies have not discovered it yet. If Ye Auncient and Well-beloved Order of Chessers was to get round a square table with the Bookmakers’ Institute, and induce the latter to be present at the Telegraphic contests which are to be ianugu rated soon, the sport would “ boom.” Here is a chance for Mr fsitt. When, around the championship chess matches we hear ‘ ‘ Two to one the black kerveen I” “I lay the white kink! Twenty to one the king’s bishop!”—then two-up and the ponies will totter on their foundations and dissolve like clouds in the deep ocean of popular forgetfulness—as it were. Mr Witty says that the Public Service Commissioners should be sacked, because they simply put round men in square holes This reminds me of a clean-ujx that Wag once made in a certain railway service, where the men complained that one was described as a champion beerchewer, another “ a poor specimen of a worker,” a third “ shaky in the upper storey,” another as a professional loafer, and another as a rebellious Russian agitator. This is certainly a case of round men. With guch qualifications as these, men are foolish to go on working in the railway service. A champion beerchewer would do well as beer taster for the police, and many ‘‘ poor specimens of workers ” become Members of Parliament. Being “ shaky in the upper story,” a man should certainly do well at poetry, or football, or law, or journalism, or any of the more imaginative callings, and a professional loafer can find far better jobs to loaf in than any of the Public Services. Again, for the aedtator, rebellious or Russian, there are many splendid opportunities as union secretaries or W.E.A. lecturers, or City Councillors. By SINBAD.
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Bibliographic details
Star (Christchurch), Issue 16584, 17 November 1921, Page 6
Word Count
842SPINDRIFT. Star (Christchurch), Issue 16584, 17 November 1921, Page 6
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