AMERICAN HOTEL LIFE.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 12704, 28 July 1919, Page 4

AMERICAN HOTEL LIFE.

EXPERIENCES OF A VISITOR

When after twelve rocky nights and thirteen consecutive days’ travelling, I haci arrived at what was claimed to lie the biggest railway station in tho world, I decided that one . night in a stationary bed would be welcome (writes 1i.8.H. m “ The Westminster Gazette ”)• That hed would be found at the, hotel near by. i\]y fellow-tra-vellers had prepared me to be suitably impressed, and I rise to the occasion. Better to enjoy anti to prolong Uio stay in the bed, I decided to get my ticket there and then, and book my sleeper •

I left the largest Railway station in the world, its prophet, and its magic behind, in tho company of an Ordinary hotel porter, a bag, and a rug. We walked what he called ‘ one block,” and what I called a few doors to the right, and entered by a revolving door a small, odd-shaped, marble hail, with a lot of men walking about it. The porter just put down my bags and left them and in#. I went up to a man and said; ‘‘l want a bed.” He said nothing, but just pointed to a crowd m a corner. Behind the crowd I found a lady at a desk, and repeated my quite ordinary request. She didn't lock up, only said: “Further on.” I saw a bald gentleman with a pen and said it again. He shoved a book before me, gave me his pen, and said: “ Write here.” 1 explained 1 wanted a bed, and not a book and pen. He looked bored and said: 1 ‘ Write yer name right here.” I did. He looked, shoved it back again, and held the pen in front of my nose. ‘ ‘ Where yer home is. m case yer wanted.” Then he gave me a key with an enormous tag and KM on it.'

I had to find a porter myself, and gave him the key. He to'ok me up one flight in a lift to a nice turned on the light, and left me. The bed was almost as large as a double bed, and its two pillows were propped upright against the wall. There were no bolster, no blankets, but an eiderdown quilt was roiled ' tightly at the foot. It was very clean and beautifully soft when I prodded It- A very largo brass spittoon was in the middle of the room, a. Bible in the middle of the dressing table, which bore tho remark on the cover: “Placed in this Hotel by the Gideons.” A wash basin with hot and cold water taps and a tooth glass (I- hadn’t seen one since I left a telephone and telephone directory. I had washed and brushed up m the train, go I hastily descended to feed.

MEAL TICKET ESSENTIAL. Instinct guided me to the feeding room, but how dashed were my spirits when the door was guarded by a. woman and a table, who asked me for a “meal ticket I” I thought to get in by protesting I only .wanted ten with something small besides. I told her I wanted no meat, remembering rations. “ You must have a meal ticket before yon go in.” “Can’t you help me to get oneP” I implored. “ Ask at the wicket,” she said. I returned to the men of the pen and few words; he silently gave me a card inscribed with the words, “Meal Ticket” and 104s’ I passed in, and for the first time was shown a slight welcome by a waiter. The long room was decorated in the marble hall stylo, but ° ne was wood panelling with square holes covered with gratings. You couldn’t see into them, as they were six feet from the floor and I wondered what they hid. I didn’t discover, and probably never shall. I had hardly sat down when a pretty lady cam© over and invited me to join her party. Gladly I joined it, and enjoyed my meal the more. Two men of the party were Canadian officers on the point of demobilisation. After the repast I innocentlv produced a cigarette, but was rapidly warned that one didn’t smoke in the dining-room. We all wandered into a sort of lounge with _ leather sofas and chairs, ftnd. even spittoonsj but tlicr© ■ men could smoke, not women. We went upstairs,_ and, seeing more spittoons and chairs, wo settled down and lit up. A charming girl invited us Ur another room, as smoking was not allowed there, either. Here we were left to our _ evil habits, and, except lor the horrified glances of an ugly woman with a still more ugly voice, passed a pleasant hour. I saw my in on from the marble station at iO.oU, and returned in hast© to the bed of 104.

WATER WORRIES. r * the avindows and undressed, l used the hot water, but when I pulled out the stopper in the basin to my horror the dirty water poured over my dressing-gown and slippers. Hastily I replaced the stopper and looked for a hell. No hell anywhere. Being tmdressed, I dealt noth it myself, and with the aid of my sponge I got most of it into the basin again. Then I examined the pipes which were under the basin, an ° found the drain pipe had come unsoldered and had shifted sideways. 1 righted it and b p hl them together with a towel over the joint. The water ran away. I_ tried to turn off the radiator, but it hissed and steam came out._ I was unnerved by the water crisis, so I gave it up. There was no blind and no curtains but lac© ones, which didn’t anywhere meet. I vent to bed. slept like a ton, and was awakened hv the telephone hril ringing in my. room. I let it ring, trunking it must be a mistake It insisted, and I had to get ont of bed. It pist called me and said, “It’s seven o clock. ’

Someone had warned me not to put

my shoes out to he cleaned, so I put them on dirty, and went down to breakfast. The food was delicious, of a great variety ; I wished I had had time for but had to go. I paid my bill, 4£ dollars. The bald man with the pen was not so busy ; he spoke several words and even looked-at me. He failed as welcoming host, but ho certainly speeded the parting guest.

_ Manager (introducing music-hall turn): " Ladies and Gentlemen ? 0W *} roc .®f d to g lve hia astounding clairvoyant, memory and a S , hS?'' Wlli £inSW6r any question that any member of the audiVoice from the Gallop: “Tell us where there’s a ’onse to let.” —Loadon “