DIARY OF A KAISER.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 11216, 23 October 1914, Page 4

DIARY OF A KAISER.

, Sunday.-—To-day has _ witnessed another triumph for the high-souled German army. Ten Belgian villages _ have been burnt- Some of the inhabitants liavo been also burnt; the rest have been driven out to starve. This will teach Belgium not to build villages, in tho way ot ! a possible Gex'mau advanceGeneral von Schweinehund was in command of tho noble German column. Have telegraphed my supreme congratulations and have conferred upon him the Iron Cross. How splendidly God is behaving in these days. _ Monday.—lt is stated that ill East Prussia a village has been burnt by the Russians during a battle. This is monstrous, and must be stopped at once. Have sent a protest to the Czar and have telegraphed to neutral countries pointing otit that Russia is spreading barbarism, whereas Germany is spreading civilisation and culture. A reply has come from America; it contained only one. word —"Louvain." That may be meant for humour, but I do not understand it. Tho Americans must not forget that Louvain was burnt by German troops, and that being so there can bo no complaint- Have told my Court Chaplain, Dr Meuchler, to draw tho Divine attention to this infamy on tho part of the Russian Huns. Tuesday.—Sis Belgian mayors and five hulidred selected Belgian villagers have been shot by my gallant troops. One of them had sneered at Lieutenant von Blutgierig as ho eat at breakfast. Ihe Belgians are indeed a stiff-necked race, but with God's help they shall bo made, to -understand the sympathetic gentleness of the German character. But to sneer at a man in uniform is an inconceivable crime worthy only of ait Englishman. The lieutenant has had to go into hospital to recover from this shameful treatment. Ho is a- true German and shall be rewarded. Wednesday .—Ordered three cathedrals to be razed to the ground, torget how many ordinary _ churches have Seen destroyed. All Belgian French universities are to bo at once bombarded and burnt for failiing to recognise superiority of German intellect. Have just read noble book by Professor Lumpentlior, who proves that Ctesar, Hannibal, Alexander, Homer, Virgil. Shakespeare. Napoleon.. Attila anu Genghis Khan were all Germans. Ho eeems to fear that wo modern Germans are too merciful. This is no doubt true for the Belgians are not yet reconciled to us as their God-appointed masters. Thursday.—Our wonderful navy continues its magnificent deeds. Two Danish and an English trawler liavo been sent to the bottom by mines in the North Sea. Have commanded religious services to be held in all German churches to thank God for all His mercies.

Friday.—Havo arranged everything with Turks, who will shortly intervene with their army to help Germany to spread civilisation and the Gospel. Hear that England is about to use Indian troops. This, being an attack on Gorman ■ culture, cannbt be allowed. Unless something B done about it shall countermand rpligious services. Saturday.—•Have ordered all remaining Belgian villages to b° burnt and inhabitants to be shot. This will please my glorious troops. T/ie Divine blsssiiior is evidently on our cause,— "Punch."