WHARF WORKERS.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 10979, 19 January 1914, Page 5

WHARF WORKERS.

AS SEEN BY HUMORIST

" Oriel," in the Melbourne " Argus," extracts some fun out of the latest demands of the Melbourne wharf j workers : I If the startling demands of the wharf j labourers for increased Avages are acceded _to we may expect to read the following news shortlv:— j "Dt Johnson, who has given up the Ipractice of his profession," was entertained by the. townspeople in the Quongdong Town Hall last night, prior to his departure for the Melbourne wharves. The guest, was wished every success in his new sphere. Dr .Johnson said that for the future he was to be plain Bill Johnson, wharf labourer, lie .had not had a holiday for seven years, 'and he hoped to make his fortune in eighteen months or so by working on the wharves on Sundays and holidays only. (Cheers.)" " An interesting ceremony was performed on the wharf at No. 27 shed yesterday afternoon, when Dick, .son of Mr X. Y. Browne, K.C., Mas admitted to t'ne practice of his profession ,as wharf worker. The manner in I which Dick handled a reel of pa)>er with a, dog-hook delighted the onlookers. After the ceremony the. company adjourned to the Slineers' Arms, where .they effectively settled the dust nuijuance with the aid of pints." J '"Ted Stevedore, the multi-million-aire wharf worker, has donated £IO.OOO to the fund for the establishment of 'homes for aged and worn-out shipowners. Ted described his success in life to tho fact that he never wore a stiff shirt or collar, or frittered his -money away in haircuts." ' " Tobias Trevithick, who, as a shop--walker for one of the largest business ;firn:e of this city lias hitherto been not 'only a, model or respectability to his (neighbours, but a .pillar of the church, appeared ju the City Court yesterday on charges of drunkenness and assaultling the police. The defendant, who .appeared in dungaree trousers, and with an unshaven face, said that he had been having a good time. Tie was tired : of being respectable and wearing uncomfortable clothes. Now, as a wharf (labourer he was rich and happy. "When if be Bench announced that he was lined £lO, defendant smiled, and produced a fbundle of notes. He paid the line, (placed £lO in the poor-bos:, arid invited everybody in Court to join him in a , ! New Year's drink "