SMILE SEED.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 10925, 14 November 1913, Page 1

SMILE SEED.

* HEARD IN OFFICE. Dibbs: " I say, Gibbs, let's go some* where to-nighl. The wife's got everything torn up house-cleaning." Gibbs: "Nay, nay, old man! Things are ditto at our place, but as the poot says: Be it ever so tumbled, there's no place like home." * .* A LA MEXICAINE. f In Mexico nearly every man wears a moustadhe." Yes. You see. it is always neces- : sary down there for a man" to have something to hide behind at a moment's notice." « * NO CHANGE. • .- " A man never loses anvthing by politeness," said the Old Fogey. " I know a lot of men who ner. - ** intended to," added Grouch. * * ' THE POINT OF VIEW. Pickpockets in New York relieved Ambassador "Wilson of his pocketbook. t " Gee," he is believed to have said: 'this is no country for me! I ought to have stayed in Mexico!" * * A MAN-EATER. "Did you ever have an experience with a man-eating shark?" " Yes, before I joined the Navy. The son-of-a-gun charged me 20 per cent a month." * * WISE TO IT. Mr Quoter: "Solomon has said 'the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong.' " I Mi* Gamesport: "I suppose in his time the sporting competition was pretty crooked." * * MORE ATTRACTIVE. " Tremendous crowd up at our church last - night." " Now minister?" "No; it was burned down." ■. ♦ * WISE. " Did the doctor dia.gnose your ense?" '•'Yes." "How long did it take?" " Not" long. I wore mv shabbiest suit." ■ **• YIELDING HER PREROGATIVE. He: "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Don't forget that." . She: "Then you come in and rule the world a while. I'm tired." * * THE WAYS OF LILY. Lily smashed the royal gems And drowned the keeper in the Thames! ■What does this-j?irHsb. prank\denote? Oh, just that Lily wants to vote? THE SIMILARITY. "My dog begging for a bone is like the argumentative orator." " How so?" "Because he naws for a reply." * * IN HIS PRIVATE CAPACITY. "Doctor, what's a good food for hotweather?" "Personally, my dear madam, I prefer ice-cream." * * DOUBTFUL. "Is the man- your sister is goin' to marry rich?" * "No. Every time the marriage if mentioned Pa savs, 'Poor man 1'" * * PLAYS FAVOURITES. Opportunity knocks once at every man's door, and even follows some men out to the ball park. * * SO IT *SEEMS. Stella: "No man is indispensable." Bella: "But some man is." * * MISPLACED. First Cinder: "Why so angry?" Second Cinder: " I've been wasting time in a glass eye." * * UNSOCIABLE. Gabe: " Smith is : an unsociable cuss, isn't, he?* ■ • Steve: "Should say so. Why, that guy wouldn't even talk in his sleep."