THE WEEK.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 10092, 4 March 1911, Page 6

THE WEEK.

Although nothing formal has been Jone in the way of floating ' ( The Week," Limited, applications for ihares are already being received. Owing doubtless to an oversight, these Vpplications are for the most part unaccompanied by deposits, and it must >e perfectly obvious that " The Week " »annot be floated unless the wheicKrithal to float it is forthcoming. " The Week" weighs about fourteen' stone and is solid, and the floating takes a power of liquid, which even at Kaiapoi rates costs money. Unfortunately the good' old habit of wetting a new venture is going out of fashion, and doubtless it is the spread of temperance sentiment that makes so many people kick up a row when there is any talk of " floating " a concern. It is true that in the old. days the "wetting" of a concern took almost enough liquor to float a ship.

One or two of the applicants _ for shares in "The Week," Limited, have sent along paragraphs as deposits. That is sensible. One applicant, who writes very familiarly about "the good old l Week," alleges that a dairyman in his district has lately named his concern, the " Waimarie Dairy." Now, as any Maori dictionary will show, this is a dangerous name for a milkman, because if "Waimario" means anything »t all It means "still water."

I "The Week " is reminded of a dairyman he knew in the North Island who flatted Ifls dairy Wai-motu, ..which,

means cold water, an<l then wondered why the Maoris gave him a wide berth when they were buying milk.

The most impressive item of news this weok has been a message from Vancouver, presumably originating from New York, alleging bhat two women who made ten attempts to take their own lives and failod had " retired from the suicide field." It must have been a tense moment when they were waiting for the result of the last experiment. p- " The Weok" has almost decided that be had better go back to school, for the English of the younger generation has got him badly down. One correspondent writes:—"l hereby apply for one hundred shares in 'The Week.' Ltd., I don't think." It is doubtless true that the correspondent does not take the trouble to think, but bow can that fact possibly interest "The W T eeL "? His thoughtlessness is sufficiently indicated by the fact that be forjrot to enclose the deposit. He further illustrates his thoughtlessness bv sending o. perfectly impossible story about a man who went to sleep on a dray and woke up to find that his horse'had been headed back and that it had stopped seven or eight miles from, the proper destination. " The Week " doesn't believe that any horse would be ass enough to wander on for seven miles if it were not compelled to move. The only horses " The Week " ever had to do with would have stopped within a hundred yards.

Geology is a dry enough subject as a rule,' but a youngster in one of the local schools managed to import a little humour into it the other day when the teacher was giving a lesson. There bad been a patient explanation of the geological periods from the Lanrentian and Huronian up through the Silurian, Permian, Jurassic, Eocene, Miocene. Pliocene, to more recent times. "Now," continued the teacher, "what do_you think we ought to call the present period?" Only one hand was held up. "Well, my clever friend," inquired the master rather sarcastically, "what do you call the present geological period?" "Please, sir," came the prompt and sufficient answer, " the Plasticene."

The Methodist Conference has been discussing financial matters with considerable fervour and much monotony for the past week. The monotony was broken on one occasion by tho startling suggestion of a lay member that the various circuits should offer to increase their 'contributions to the Home Mission fund. • Ho started the ball rolling with an offer of £5 on behalf of his own circuit. There was a silence that could be felt, lasting about two minutes. Then arose a ministerial member, who proceeded to mako a flowery speech regarding the performance of " The. Creation " the previous evening, and concluded ten minutes of oratory by moving a vote of thanks to the choirs. The effort was a brilliant inspiration/ but the financial question was not shelved, the lay member returning to the charge with unabated vigour until Conference consented to give circuits a chance to increase their contributions.

The young New Zealander is fast qualifying for first grade honours* in tho field in which the Americans have hitherto been regarded as being in a class by themselves. In fact, we may yet have to send a team of Al All Black liars to contest supiemacy with the best the Old World and the New can offer. It was a young farmer who related the other day how a cat on his station had swallowed a bee and had developed a sting in its tail, so that if you went to stroke it you were sure to get stung. It was not in the actual story so much as in tho follow on that the young man revealed his genius. A student of natural history suggested that if. the cat took after the bee it would have lost its life after the first sting. "That may be," admitted the farmer, "but I tell you this cat stung at least five people to my certain knowledge." ''How do you account for that?" queried an interested bystander. " I don't know," said the farmer, musingly, "unless it is that the cat has nine lives."