DEFIED BY THE BULLDOG.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 9315, 15 August 1908, Page 7

DEFIED BY THE BULLDOG.

A family druggist in Bristol happehed to look up from his desk and was astonished to see the shattered wreck ol a man enter and throw himself uppn a chair. The wreck was in an awful condition,- bleeding, like Colonel Marco Bozarris. at overy vein. ** What in the name of Sir Walter Scott has happened to you?" cried the ' druggist. I ** Pour a few quarts of arnica on me," responded the wreck weekly, " and I'll tell you." ~ The druggist stitched him upr and soaked him in healing fluids, aj-joL I__tened for the story. " I live in Clifton Avenue," said tho wreck. "I have lately been reading) up on lion-tamers, and came toe the conclusion that the human eye would subdue any beast that walks. I tried it on all the animals in the neighbourhood, and it seemed to wort all right. For two or three weeks I went around subduing things with my eyo. Then I got into an argument with a.neighbour on the question. He held that a really fierce animal didn't care a red cent for the human eye. I offered to bet £2 that he couldn't produce aft- animal that I couldn't conquer by looking at." "I can guess tho rest," -said th« druggist ; "he trotted out a big -ma-s---tiff with a month as large as the 'Arctic regions, and you tried to subdue it, and it wouldn't subdue to amount, ta •anything ; and in the grand symposium that followed tho dog tried to make a record at plain and fancy chewing, and succeeded." "That sounds reasonable ; enough," replied the wreck, wearily, "bnt it wasn't the way it happened. Mv neighbour took me into a strange yard by moonlight and asked mo to hypnotise a big brindle bulldog that was sitting on the porch. Several strangers were there to see the experiment,- and 1 went to work. I stared into - the orbs of tbat beast for fifteen minutes, nnd it didn't seem to move a muscle; then, to -show 'that it was thoronghly subdued, I went up ahd placed my jjand on its head. Tt was a cast-iron •"Dulldog, and was -subdued when it -first •same from the foundry. While the spectators were langhing, I saifod^fntb •ny neighbour, determined to wn.-D_li.in -11 round the place and utv and down an alley, and you see the result. " I wish you would wur a pint of oil of sassa■cra-- do**-*, tj •_ Luck ot my ueck." >■*