FRENCH AND ENGLISH MANNERS.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 9315, 15 August 1908, Page 1

FRENCH AND ENGLISH MANNERS.

Some Differences,

("Saturday Review.")

There ar c so many differences between French and English dinner parties that an Englishman may bo glad to- know in what they differ. Thus iv the old days when a man or a family were asked, to a French dinner party, it- was considered, especially if the invitation was accepted, the right thing to 'leave cards on the host and hostess as some return for the favour. This is nolonger an absolute necessity; in fatsfc most people have given up doing co, but when it is done it is thoroughly, appreciated. It shows tliat "the foreigner haa -some idea of old French customs, that he is not a- mere casual visit_T, and that he has given himself, the trouble to learn the manners and customs of old French (society. The compliment is recoguised, for it is never a mistake in France to err on the sidei V of being too punctilious. Once the , guest arrives, he ought to be presented to everyone in the room. As a general rule his host takes him up, and-intro-duces him to all the men, while lus hostess introduces him to the ladies. Sometimes" his biography or his relationship to- his host's family in ' the days that preceded the Norman Conquest is brought in by way of an additional recommendation. If this is not dono it is probably because it has been assumed that the Englishman, knows everyone already; but iv this case he will do woll to ask to be introduced to those whom he does ' not kntfrw. It is a matter for his own discretion, however, in the' case of a very* large din-" ncr party. The arrangement of the table is a somewhat complicated business. The chief guest gives his arm to and sits at the right* ofthe lady of tho house, whilst the principal ' lady is taken in by the host and sits upon hia! right. Those who* come next occupy a totally different position. The Ulan gives his arcn to the lady and leaves her at the left of th© host, whilst lie himself takes up his position on tha left of the hostess. The other guests take tlie places that are allotted ■ -to* them; but it frequently happens whers rules of precedence are strictly obsea*red that men and women separate after they have gone in to dinner together. Many nuances -are also observed in « the*

very" act of going in. As a ge"_4ral rule the man gives his left arm instead of his right, except where .. ho happens to be an officer in full uniform who has not left his sword in the hall, and it might be in the way. In military circles the hostess often says:, toi the men " Deearmez tjous." Then* again when going through a 6on_ewhat narrow door or down a narrow staircase amongst the professional ami middle classes the man makes way forthe lady; while in. the old Faubourg the man goes first and shows the lady

the way. Tlie really great difficulty is -the; questiou of precedence. There is noi general rule, and the consequence; is that very few people are satisfied witt. the place they get. Two or three rufc*si are nowever generally observed. \ A cardinal, a high ecclesiastical functionary, a distinguished man of lettere/or ecientist who is a member of the Frerich Academy, an ambassador, a member of the Institute of France, even a senator* or deputy had -and still have a thoroughly recognised precedence to* the foreigner by courtesy, and no one can find fault with this. As between the different ranks of the French poorf age there is no conventional precedence whatsoever. The oldest nian, without any consideration for his particular* rank, generally takes the first -placo. Dukes who are likewise peers of Old

France are placed before dukes what ai*o not peers; princes, though net a recognised French title, are also given a certain amount of precedence ; whilst a nobleman who ■» appears to be tho

head of his own name and arms will be

put in front of •one who represents* but a -younger- branch. In the case of titles ats such, little or no difference is made. A family which has included in the old daya fieldr-narshals and great officers of tho Crown will always occupy an important position. Then, again, the antiquity of the family is more important than the title. The whole subject is an extremely complicated one, and has give!-, rise to endless heartburning*.. .xtus the story is told of an -ambassador who gave mortal offence by placing a mushroom marquis of the eighteenrS century who happened to be wealthy and very smart before a count who wis not only a member of one of the oldest families of France but .was also an Academician. Another touchy nobleman found himself at a house where his hostess apologised to him for putting a member of the Institute of France dither right a very wealthy manufacturer on her left. She was quite wronij in doing the latter ; but the irate guest was not satisfied until he had replied t;o' her excuses with the cutting remark*

" What would you have done with him if he had happened to be poor?" We can therefore hardly be surprised if .•many French families hesitate before they task anyone to dinner at all. Hence v the foreigner had better be very care- ' ful aa to what he does. It is true that ..* • touch will be forgiven him on tins very '" account; but he will be well advised to ,» ., take counsel with those who are in the . Know before doing anything rash. His -'-'•ftest oourse will be to avoid asking „,'guests, 'guests to meet one another whose social ' '_*____ is so close as to be competitive ; but once he has done so, he mw* I "' anxiously consider what he had better •-So after having sought help fromthose •who are really regarded as authorities. ---French conversation is much more -general than English. G uest i u are +^ r^ ed to talk to the table rather than their neighbours in the case ot a „.^ll dinner party. Once this general •■., ■•.?___ is observed, each one had .better Se his own judgment. An Enghshn^n .- :who happened to be on intimate teims ;-.*.«sSh a Kmily was caught in the act of '-JSkiwc to his neighbour rather than Su? in the general conversaHe excused himself on the ■: ■■-■V-SSnd that it was the usmd *„. {Ktom in hia own country. Why do 4ou not then ask your neighbour to quietly at a restaurant and talk Wher all alone?" be was asked, and • 3; -£en: "What do you do with your * r? Snbour to the left?" He answered . bhat in London a man generally talked '° lo his right-hand neighbour for most of fche dinner, but turned to the left during one or two courses 'Is there a ' bell?" was the retort, which so pleased his hostess that general good humour ./ *ras restored. It ie certainly better to -i^dk French when thoro are people preWr_*_fc who do not happen to understand English, as the introduction of a an•■•^fettage which is not understood by all is as spoiling the goneral conversation It is also a reflection on ; ;%nose who cannot speak the language «' -and will feel that they are being left wit in the cold. It is somotimes de%V%rable for two foreigners who happen to be placed next each other, and can .peak French, to do so. They will certainly increase their popularity far more by saying things that are under_tood by their neighbours than by conel sfcaing their conversation rigorously to ■£ Stfeeir own language. . ''£hi.t A French menu is far shorter than t^in; English one. Even a large dinner ■-■*'|"-__-ty is not supposed to last more "Btf-fhaa an hour, and consists of soup, . entrees, a "piece de resistance," ''-X chicken or game, a chaudfroid, ik y: x&h&, vagotables, a sweet and dessert. ■^Savouries are regarded as barbarous, "esqept as hors d'eeuvres, and cheese is ever served. Fish is by no •■- ; ; --{means an essential, and is of course zXtoßver served with meat during tho fasting season. Every man has four or &£*&*•**« glasses. Large tumblers are placed ii&'s for those who mix water with their Wf ••'tvin ordinaire," of which several •••v.?-.bottles, alternately whito and red, are ftfiplaced on the table. The dinner, howstarts withan old "cru" of red -na-Siraiie whose date is almost invariably k-*nH_t_ntioned by the butler. Then follows a •3.T-n»hite wine, also a choice vintage, "whilst champagne and sweet wines 4>."*fe__ierally wind up the meal. _ When boi'dinner is finished each man gives his 'X : jarm to the lady he has taken in and '•'■ ii-^corts her back to the drawing-room, a: i? After a few minutes' conversation, v ,i.:>When coffee is served, men adjourn to fr"-"« the smoking-TOom in those old-fashion- *•: rtyA houses where smoking is not allowed ' : %_t the drawing-room. Liqueurs are Htfenerally served, there, and it often - Ju-ppens that men remain longer in tbe • -smoking-room in France than our male -.r kind waste over their wine. Those who A i ido not care for smoking are, however, . /' »t liberty to remain on in the drawingroom and talk to the ladies. When •6JH«3the hour approaches for tho break-up of '--tn the party, syrups, orangeade and -Vi lemonade are served in the drawing- '" AjjHoom, and this is generally regarded as JA hint that it is time to leave and adjourn, elsewhere, except in thoso houses '$*' Inhere bridge is played or where a few .'■- have been asked to come in as i - r»r^ toothpicks," to make use of a French *?n Iwpresedo'O. X»X An introduction is generally regarda'O KM. -as the foundation of an . acquainted: irace-, and so great is the difference of imanners and customs between those X'X,srho dwell on opposite sides of the^ Straits of Dover, which can now be' crossed in the short interval of fifty minutes, that it is the natural thing for the Englishman to leave cards upon ->.*those to whom he has been introduced. *•■ ;• x fThis may not lead to much, but it can be easily imagined how rapidly a circle ' fltf- acquaintance may be increased after' • Few such dinner parties. Englishmen -A are now received far more cordially '''''' " : t_*ah they were a few years ago, and it .....; is,- much easier than it was then to enjoy the experience of a Paris dinner party.