WASTED ELOQUENCE

Star (Christchurch), Issue 9092, 23 November 1907, Page 5

WASTED ELOQUENCE

A young curate, who had recently taken orders, was appointed to a church where the vicar was extremely energetic, bo much so that when he had been there six months ho had never had a chance of preaching. This, he thougnt, was very hard lmes ; as he felt sure that he had the making of a great orator in him. One day, however, hie vicar told him that there would be a child to christen the next Sunday afternoon, and that as he (the vicar) would' be engaged elsewhere it would be left to the curate to conduct the service. "Now," he thought to himself, " if I am not allowed to preach I will at least avail myself of this opportunity to let some portion of the congregation know what my oratorical powers are." The eventful afternoon arrived, the chiidfs father, mother, uncles and aunts, godfathers and godmothers stood round the font. The service went very well until he had to take the child in his arms. He took hold of it as if it were a torpedo, and then delivered himself of this oration: — " My dear brethren, before I proceed to christen this child I would like to address a few words- to the sponsors as to its future welfare. It is an old saying and a true one that the child is father to the man. Now, this infant I hold in my arms may, if ' properly trained, rise to great eminence. He mignt one day, if well brought up, get into Parliament and become a second Balfour or Campbell-Bannerman, and pass such laws as would be of benefit to the whole of the British Empire; 0-, again, he might become a great soldier and emulate the deeds of Kitchener or Lord Roberts. Should he go into the Church, he might eventually bee -me Archbishop of Canterbury or a great missionary, and he the moans of converting thousands of souls. " If he enter the medical' profession, why should he not be a Jenner or a Pasteur, or a man like Harvey, who discovered the circulation of the blood? Should he turn his attention to commerce what is there to prevent him becoming Lord Mayor of London? i " Aa a scientific man he might he a Newton or an Edison. What is the chuo/s name?" "Mary Anne, please, sir. The bahv fell into the font-.