INSURANCE HUMOUR.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 8377, 25 July 1905, Page 2

INSURANCE HUMOUR.

DINNER OF EIGHTY-SIX COURSES.

In a lively letter to his friends at ihome, the English representative of an insurance company in a Chinese port tells of the devious ways by which an insurance proposal is approached.

"One of my agents," he writes, "comes in and says, 'Please, master, wantchee you come city Side talkee one woman. Can takee insure, pidgin.' To which I reply, 'More better you talkeo mississee come my side, catchoe choir (take dinner).' This beiug arranged, the lady arrives in her chair, accompanied By' two maid-servants and hor body-servant. I have to go out and shako hands violently with myself, then walk backwards over the gangplank, while her maids help her along. Her feet are perhaps 2£in long, so progress is slow. *' Chinese ladies love to be asked how much everything costs, which -is really a nice fashion, as they wear lovely stuff. She had gold bracelets up to the middle of the forearm, valued at £1200, and pearls all over her hair worth £3000." Her coat of lovely light cherry-coloured silk took five months to weave, and cost a sum of £80. She tells mo she is No. 2 wife,her husband having four altogether. DINNER OF FOURTEEN COURSES. " We have dinner of fourteen courses. She smokes cigarettes all the time, and I have to hand her every dish myself, and she has to rise and bow. She drinks port, sherry, beer, champagne (at 16 6d a bottle), and then smokes a cigar. After dinner her maid gives her a silver basin and her powder-box and combs, and she does her hair. Then I take her to the theatre and we eat nuts, oranges and biscuits.

"The nest stage is that I accompany her to a Chinese festival, at a templo up the river. After seeing a procession of two thousand boats, w© eat and drink from solid silver dishes and cups, and with gold chopsticks. There are eighty-six courses, (believe it if you can!) and they include' shark's fin, birds' nests, dovea' eggs and other luxuries. We drink native wine and tea. Another houseboat arrives alongside, containing her husband and three singing girls, one of* whom ho will probably buy as No. 5.

"I ask No. 2 if she is jealous, and she says, ■' No, not a bit,' and asks me ir No. 5 is really pretty in liiy judgment. It is all the queerest mixture of morals and manners. Up to now we havo not even mentioned business, but after about three weeks' palavering she will eventually insure. It is a queer business, and one requires the patience of Job and a cast-iron digestion."