THE ROMANTIC GIRL AND MATRIMONY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 7766, 25 July 1903, Page 3

THE ROMANTIC GIRL AND MATRIMONY.

(By MAX O'RELL.) For a -woman of a romantic turn of mind there is not one year of happiness, much less of bliss, in matrimony. Marriages would; not last a "week if just because the man yawned the woman wanted to run away. No man worth marrying is romantic. For that matter, no man wlio is really a man is romantic. Only a fop or a fool is. Marriage is doomed to be a ghastly failure ttnless both husband 1 and wife are sensible and practical persons whose love for each/father is lined, with a strong, thick coating of devotion and friendship, so that when the cloth begins to -wear out' the lining may be there ready to protect and 1 shelter them. It is only the strong and lasting qualities that are guarantees of happiness in matrimonial life. A man may fall in love with a woman on account of her beauty ; but it is not her beauty, even if it were equal to that of Venus, which, would keep him in love with her. It might "help, but alone i* will not do iti What will, or, at any rate, may succeed in doing it are her amiability, her cheerfulness, her good companionship, her toleration, her- appreciation of her 'husband's character and of- 'his talents, her devotion to^ cim in times o« sickness or trouble. When girls are romantic they expect husbands to remain lovers for ever and ever. But it is not in man's nature to remain a lover. He may be for a year, he may be for- ten years ; but what is most provoking about love in matrimony is that the man is always going slower and slower toward a dead stop, whereas the woman is " coaling" and getting steam up. The romantic girl has her Ruy Bias and Petrarca, and the mandolin and the moon : light, and love philtres all mixed up in an intoxicating draught. If she marries an English country squire or a Scotch; laird her. illusions will soon be shattered, as she will never know any romantic delights. But- if she marries a man of an artistic ' temperament, who will take her near to heaven, she will come down with, a fearful crash when the journey is over and the balloon bursts, unless she is sensible and manages to save herself by using the parachute of friendship, lasting and fast friendship, which will allow her to come down easily, comfortably and even gracefully. The married woman who is clever takes care that her husband is never boredl in bis house. Only a selfish, woman wants to shut up a man all alone, with her in a kind of attitude of perpetual adoration of herself. She calls that affection. I call it egotism. Some men, very few, submit to this sort of demand and jro about Leld tight in a leash, like unslipped pointers ; but the majority bolt, as a famous woman, Ouida, tells us that she would if she were an* of them. Some women, the stupidest of all, have met the " cooling down ", of their husbands with recriminations, reprimands, scenes of jealousy and tears. Qf course, in such cases, if theye was a particle of love, I mean of passionate love, left in the man, it instantly extinguished it. Love is not obtained for the asking, much less is it revived by scoldings and reproaches. ( Marriages have been known to be happy which began with mere sympathy, that became love and even turned 1 into passion ; but no marriage has ever known to be tolerable which began tyith passion. Matrimony is like a play ; the interest must go on increasing from a sober beginning to a climax.