THE START IN MATRIMONY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 7701, 9 May 1903, Page 3

THE START IN MATRIMONY.

(By MAX O'EELL.)

In matrimony ifc is nob "All is well that ends well," ifc. 'is, " All is well thafc begins -w-ell, but not too" well." Starting from this principle, I hnve often advised young husbands to control themselves, and to be careful to avoid putting all their smartest dialogue and strongest situations in the first act of the comedy of matrimony, for fear lest the. interest should go on ageing steadily to the end. : ■ . I have advised them to see that their wives do nob get their own way in everything at once, and not to make themselves their abject slaves, because, jusfc as no Government has ever been known to successfully suppress, or even reduce, any liberty or privilege previously granted to the people, jusfc so will no husband be able to recover one inch of the ground he bas surrendered if he capitulates on the threshold of matrimony. In fact, let young husbands and young wives behave towards, each other in such a .way that their friends will not smile and say, " Lovely, bufc too good to lasfc, I'm afraid."

The dangers against which I have attempted to warn men exist for women, devoted, loving woman, who wish to start matrimony by trying to do fche impossible, in order to please their husbands, or, if not impossible, afc all events whafc it may not be in their power to do for ever, or even for a long time. One of these dangers is that of economy. "My dear," remarked a shrewd friend to a bride of a few weeks' standing, "you will make a terrible mistake if you lefc your husband tbmk that you can keep house on nothing." Young wives are sometimes pitifully anxious to be credited .with remarkable cleverness as bouse mistresses. The more they love their husbands the less they like the idea of their toiling and moiling. Hence they are keenly anxious to prove themselves helpmeets in the literal sense of the word.

Nofc only will they name a far smaller sum as housekeeping money than their husbands can well afford to give them, but they will actually save out of thafc sum enough for their own clothes and petty cash expenses. All this self-sacrifice is nob only charming, but beautiful, when there is necessity for rigid economy. Young couples who wisely marry on small incomes instead of wasting the sweetness of their youth over an endless engagement, musfc make a study of the ways and means, and the wife who will cajole a shilling into doing duty for ten is n, jewel beyond price. Again, when times are bad, when tbe bread-winner falls ill and the treasury runs dry, there is no more pathetic and loyely sight than the brave little wife who struggles and succeeds in keeping the wolf out bf the house.

But in instances where no serious demand of this kind need be made upon a wife's ingenuity, she is a very short-sight-ed woman indeed who does not- see the dangers and realise the evils of over-zealous economy.

There would be fewer complaints of marriages tbat result in the wife being merely an unpaid servant or housekeeper who.cannot give notice to leave if brides began as they meant to go on, for no one save those who have lived through' the process knows bow difficult ifc is to introduce a new regime when once its opposite has been inaugurated and accepted. " You said you would find £2 a week ample a month ago ; why in the world do you want £3 now ?" asks a husband, 1 whose wife has been foolishly anxious to impress him with her cleverness as an economist, and finds she cannot keep up the farce beyond the limit of a few weeks. Economy may be carried too far from choice. There are women who simply love saving ; they neglect their intellectual life, and abandon all attempts to keep in the movement all in order to grind down the weekly bills. No reward awaits them.

' The women who believe themselves perfect because^ they axe economical, and consider tbe spring defining of their hous© the greatest event of the year, grow old before their time, and are never the companions modern wives should be to their husbands. Be good, but never overdo it, I will say to any woman who has the sense of humour.