FUN AND FANCY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 7238, 26 October 1901, Page 3

FUN AND FANCY.

When is a tooth not a tooth?— When it is a-king! Little Girl (reading about King Henry I.) : " 'After the death of his son, he never smiled again ' : but, ma, what did ne do when they tickled 'him!" Squire's Daughter : "Do you think it is quite healthy to keep your pigs so ctase to the cottage?" Hodge: "I dunno, miss. Noan of ther pigs ain't never bin ill." She: "Yes, she is a woman who has suffered a great deal because of her belief.'* He: "Indeed! And what is her belief?" She : " That she can wear a No. 3 shoe on a No. 4 foot." "So you want to marry my daughter, do you?" thundered the stern father. " Y-y-es, sir," stammered the terrified young man, " but not any worse than she wants to marry me." Collector: "This is the fifth time, sir, I've brought you this bill." Customer: "Well, haven't I always received you a!fably?" Collector: "I don't want affability, sir ; I want cash." Mrs Von Blumer : " Dear ! dear ! I dropped my diamond! ring off my finger this morning and! can't find it anywhere." Von Blumer: "It's all right. I came across it in one of my trouser-pookeits." Mrs Gabletoii: "I understand tiat your husband cannot meet his creditors." Mrs Fale : "On tfhe oon-trary, he says he can't help meeting them at every torn. That is the reason, he goes out so seldom." Grandma: "Now, Willie, what are they going to do with you when you grow up? What is your ambition?" Little Willie (putting down his " Deadwood Dick ") : " I'd like to have people tremble like aspen [eaves at the very mention of my name."