NESTING : A SKETCH.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 7132, 22 June 1901, Page 2

NESTING : A SKETCH.

The long clumsy pantechaicon van has b^sn induced to adow itself to be bafcked against the kerb of jfche pivement, and. stands there," with its two horses slewed at right aagUs, dwarfing the new. onestoried houses,, and making thorn appear emayier than they really. are. The bnild. : of the pew houses .(who finished tnem only last week, and has left signs pf a mortal pi-0 in the M^cnt- garden) seems to hay« . felt that,: email ' as ih*y : . .were, they h^d' ; aot reached the West limits of size, and therefore divided each of -them by two fc 1 ad-duig a front, door, mU'tiplying' the repts and cai".ing. -thiMn .n-aisctf-oeitte flats.' Spfflie residents' cinie in, last week, aod" these oi6---inhabitain-s watch the unloading of the vffl. - through muslin curtaUW,: amCious t<>miss nothißg,. hut. paihfollyV desiious of tigcer- ' taining facts without disclosing themselves. The Female Bird, in/ a .bibbed aproa with artful Httle pockets^ wings her way in Atid •out superaitendiDg thef transport of the -brand-new furaiture, and leeCing thab in the absence of the Male- Bird a responsibility rests on her agreeable shoulders th*t has never oeetn there before. She gives orders in, tones of respect, and tbe shirt-steered men, affecting to obey, fake, a»f a' nteitterj of facV, no notice whateW «l her pom-* mands. There are scewfes trf raattiag and of furniture polish ; to this Something is added occasionally, when the two shirt-, sleeved men and t&&r'; ,iad, reding,- asfc where on earth that cold tea has g.oh*,-, and, finding the large bo-ttie, drink some- 1 thing that contributes ft brewery sftteH - to "frtie atmosphere. , "Now, chaps!" The stout man ea- 1 "!* liis men to attention. "Lets 'aye: a bit '. of a phy at tiiis. piara-er."---i; " You will' be careful , ? woa't you ?" be^f . the aproned Female Bird. "If anyt^in^ [ happened to that, I don't know what Ishould do." . "Bless you, ma'am," says the man in a paternal way* "Tve had t<V i deai witte them all my life. . I wish," he adds"wiiftft-Hy, ' "X wislb I had as many soyereig-is." '■: .. "It bost* suqK a lob of money^ ThaA-'s ; 'why I'm anxious. My uncle got it fortyfive, per cent off cost price 1 through know-- ■ ing someone in the ironmongery, but even . then—" "You _&efc your eyes, ma'am, for five minutesy and we'll 'aye it indoors and upstairs in the front room like a flash o' lightning." AA '■-._■'■■ , t Either the. simile haa not been, chosen with perfect accuracy, or the men are ' anxious ' not to do their work without elaborate show of labour, for the pianoforte, after alfowing itself to .slide gently .off the- low tpilboard of the .van to the pavement, shows signs of obstinacy, wedg']ng itself in by the gate to tiie terror of the Female Bird, standing -frith daspied hands at the doorway; beinjj released Erom its position^ it defies the efforts made to lift it. . ".'; " We -ought to 'aye took it's inside oufc," : growls one of the men. '.'Oh," wails the young woman at the doorway, "don't go doing anything silly to it." " How^d it be to shove it along? - These yer things ought to be nfadle on carstors , same like— — " "If you could only 'old up your tend, Bill." " You'll pardon me," says Bill, with heated politeness, "but it's your end that sticks." "Ah!" 'remarked the other pityingly, "you' adn't the man for Ivftin' that you was." " I can do a bit with me fists still, and chance the duck?." f "Do you think," asks the Female Bird, agitatedly, "that I could help at all?" " Yes, ina'a-m, you can 'elp. You can 'elp by stair-ding aside' and not interfering." "I beg pardon," she remarks with hu- • mility. l - y " Now then, Bill. Altogether. • One, two, three, and .away we go." ' The pianoforte shows renewed signs of temper on finding itself, half-way up the narrow staircase, and temper reaches the point of sullen obstinacy when it is 'urged to turn into the front rooni. There the pianoforte defies the twa <flurt-sleeved men to do their best, and" would, indeed, score a victory, -only that it lias not allowed for the ingenuity of furnituro movers; on being tipped up at the one end and. shifted artfully at the othe.- it lurches up again and into the room- with a stagger, and the men breathe, while the Female Bird send_i ' a- look of pious thankfulness to the ceiling. A sofa comes in on two tweed legs, like something in a pantomime. ....;.; "Lean back!" cries Jim to his colleague. . "Who are you calling- names?" demands the, other hotly) as the sofa hits' him, "You're alwaya chipping in© about me being thin. I shall set about you direct-y, md ses if I can't put a ©top Jo it, see." - '••■;" I only give you a word of advice, old man." ■■■-'•■ "I'll advise you, my lad, if you ain't careful. I can stand -a .certain amount of chaff, bttLonce you cross the line- — " 1' Would you mind," suggests the Female Bird with humility, "bringing in the^ideboard now? You won't break the lookingr glass of it, will you?" "Since you mention it, ma'am," says Jim, "we'll try not to. Come' on, Falstaff."- ; ■'■'.■'"_ '„' „' "You'll aggeravate me presently, declares the thin man, "to such a pitch that I shan't know what I'm up tb." . ' " Now, I wonder," remarks Jim, going down and stepping into the cavern, "t wonder whether we shall notice any ddfferenoe." „ The wrangling- between the two mengoes on with occasional assistance on one side oij.the other from the ladyui-til the heavy article© have been transferred upstairs; this effected they fan themselves With their green 'baize aprons, and talk pointe-d-Iy of the impossibility of working on and on without a drop of lotion to keep body axd sout together; as the Female Bird, possessed with desperate anxiety to get everything into the nest before the Male Bird shall return at half-past five from the City, takes but a casual interest in this, Jim, the lively man, tells with gruesome relish the story of a friend of his who lived near Peckbam Rye, a tall, fine, up-standing chap, but a strict Congregationaiist, who used to do removing on fcee-

total principles. One day (just such -a day as this) he was helping to move a family from -Nunhead to Brockley, and the -lad} of the house, being a kind-hearted woman (lifee yourself, ma'am), offered him a drop of beer, and he, silly like, said "No thanks": five minutes later, oi- fib might have been six minutes later, fett down. "«nys expired. „ ■ . " t '_ . * Expired !" echoed the Female Bird; .<_» tressed at this painful anecdote. " Like a bloomk-' door-nail," declares the sfcotrt man. "And if you don't like, to : believe me, ask old Teddy _?ugh, who's. . living up in the north now, and hell teJ)T - you the same. The Female Bird is so much perturbed at this, and so anxious to show that she is ready to accept the stout man's word^ithiont corroboration, that she finds her purse . and offers doubtfully a shilling. Jim, re?" oovering his spirits afe this, say-s.. that -if the young 'uni likes to go. and fetch it, he, for his part, is prepared . to help in the : drinking of it, and a very pleasant quarter of an hour is spen/b, om me taiiboard. ol the' van, where a few ohildren, oue oi ' school, have now gathered under some idea ftaat they have found a part ©f, a circus. y«hen, after several hints from, the anxious Female Bird, they resume worlc,, .there is lan air of greater cheerfulness.; they comfm«mt on tiie articles w-hich. -they carry, and throw them perilously from One -to th* i other to, the terror -of thei-r owner, with a "How's that,, umpire?" when, a «atch is made, and a '''Yah! bu-tear-fiogers," when this is not effected-. The Female Bird having tacked muslin curtains at the frontroom window, and placed a linen ftem eb centre' so that from the roadway you might think the p-face to be coinpktely furnished, gives a short quiok; shriek at a seftiJet Sower-pot, fumblied by Jim, falls on the. clinkers that borders the path, an-d goes into twenty .pieoes. Children in the. roadway feel partly repaid by. --hkrior wattiirg^ "It had got to he /broke vsome day," says Jiru wixn fatalism. "Good thing it, wasn't ; anything else." . "I don't 'know w-hai^ my husband will •say,". -.;'." „: :- ..'. "Thafs nothing !" declares the man ®s-paragin-gly. "Why, I broke a blooiining; ;statue : once, didn't I, Bill? Statue of a. lady it was; but the party she. shoilM. call it Venus, of. southing or, #her.Wasri'fe that so » Bill? Bless your *e»rt, it's aJways,,' wise to make the beat of everything-, ain't. it,.jßiii?". ..*. -...- ... .:'■'.■- . The last stages take an unneq^ssary time, andy the, an*q«n* <rf delifee^tion required •lpcfore. the brass, fender, ia. transported and the foresihoojght demanded .ere porbiqnV or! the bedstead are deaK? witih biiitlg the Fe». male iSrd -to- -the "ywifb-. of freajay. She looks upythe read agita*«dfy, flies abont, the front ot the- , house fpecju^ YIP- r* ll^ o * B *f matting, and. finally makes declajpation. ef her wishes to the meit. She desire* aJbovo, ali, things that they . should be gone and everything should; appear orderly ere her husband returns. " Ain't beaa lang mairiedj. 'aye yen, ma-a m." " Oh, yes," says the Female Bird, " quite three weeka."; " We'-ll clear off, ma!am," says Jim, aftei consideration. "Bill, on, with your jacket. Boy, 4ake them nosebags .off, acid : weke up the 'oraes." **Txct sure I'm ever so much obEged io you."*'^- . '- :. .y/ ', .^ThafSs all right, missy, that's rifeht. (Bill, you chucked your bowler 'at. up on the roof.) You ain't the' firsb yoimg <awpl» that I've 'elped to set up 'ouse. .' Aire they,Biur ■-"•■• ■ As the huge van ltiitfbess Tfl^Hhiß and the three lighting their pipes w*ve «i faita? well, the Female., Bird bepaws very htWfy iii tiie v rooms, : lighting the standard- .hunp \ with tiie pink shade, suakin^ out rugs, . hanging, up .pictures by -Marcus Stone, but not so busy that she cannot look, now and again frq-m th^ bajccjny &t the lnje of City i)O^.Jwateijing boms to dinner. These give her, no initl?rest at, all. until she detects the Male Bird!, frpefc-coated and serious, wheteupoajr shet flutters her hannijcerohief, and he, '. thrQwipg away his business mask, laughs and waves his silk hat. She meets him at the dfoorway, aaad presently they appear on the sma-J balcony, which is just large enpugh for two if they db not maid standing cjoee te. e»<-h other. "WeU, well, well," saya the Male Bird, amazedly, "-I*. knew you were an. extra-,o*dinarf-y clever gin - , but I had no* idea you were sttch an e-rtraordnw-rily clever gfcl." ••' - ■