THE WEEK.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 7084, 27 April 1901, Page 4

THE WEEK.

It is to be hoped that when the troops return from South Africa one of our modes of welcome will not be that adopted by a North Island town. There a banner inscribed with the words "Welcome back onco more " was displayed over the Lock«P. ■ ■ The municipal elections are oveT : "Old wine is best— -New brooms sweep clean." „ Well, we have both, so cannot grumble, Let's hope their influence will be ««en, In onward march, with less of Bumble. | Though for our streets (and for our Rhodes) We have undoubtedly the right Mayor, Our civic dream, this scribe forbodes, May end in something like a Knight-Mayor. • ■ . « ■■ — A New Zealander has discovered a. new use for photography. He got mixed up in a St iPatridk's Day scrimmage, and rather 'badly assaulted by a bibtflcus Irishonan. Whippiag «at his camera, he "snapped" his assailant, and subsequent Court proceedings balanced their little account. ■ ——■ +~~ ' Christchurch had another attack of khaki fever during tsie- week, and bhe crisis came yesterday when, the Federal Contingent took its de-jar ture for Melbourne. The contingent will do credit fo the colony, both iii, physique and drill, although as regards discipline, the Maori detachment is in. need of a little improvement. T~* ~ The Maoris are much exercised over the reduction of postage, and they hav'nt realised yet that a letter will go as far and as quickly for a penny as it used to go for twopence. The other day a Native went into a country store in the North Island and borrowed pen, ink, and paper from the storekeeper. The letter finished, he asked for a stamp and tendered two penpe. " One penny," said the storekeeper. "Sure," said the doiibting purchaser, "go all the way, no lose?" " Yes, all right, and go all the way." "Well, kapai two; go like h— !" ♦ ' A sense of satisfaction is felt by all classes at the. determination displayed to give Colonel Robin aud his companions from the war a hearty reception. Let's not forget -the lads who sailed Nigh eighteen months ago, Who have not in their auty failed Against the stubborn foe. ' We cheered them when ihey started, Erect and gallant-hearted, Though many a dear one parted | With pain we little know. They've -made their mark in history, Their laurels iresh'.y grow, Many have solved death's mystery, For whom the tears still flow. And when we. cheer the coming band, We'll bare our heads, with reverent hand Saluting, those who in that land Lie till the trumpets blow. 4 Afc a meet of a certain pack of Canterbury harriers recently, a lady was escorted by a couple of cavaliers, ; boi'h of whonr were " got up °to kil*.," and were making themselves very attentive. As they jogged up a country lane, the hounds .found in an adjoining paddocki and the fair "equestrienne " promptly sailed over about 3ft 6in of gorse and wire. This not very pre r tentious obstacle was, however, to* much for 'her attendants, <who, in the absence of a .gate or a check', were obliged to content themselves with each other's company for the remainder of the day.

The couplet— " Eight hours' work, •Eight hour 9* play, Eiffht 'hours' sleep, Eight bob a day," is not wily familiar, but is fact in most of the colonies. The author of tie verse, John Lawson, a Burnley weaver, has just died, at the age o<f forty-nine. He obteined great popularity amongst the industrial community of the north sixteen years ago as the author of the " Weavers' Catechism," a satire on the methods employed' in the -weaving industry. ♦> One evening last Treek, just as " tie shades of night were falling fast," and before the electric lights took charge of a certain New Zealand port, a youth, stole unobtrusively down the gangway of an ocean steamer. Evidently he did'nt desire an address cf welcome or any little attentions of that kind; in fact, he wasn't looking for notoriety. But one of . t'ht' pampered minions of a tyrant oligarchy determined to greet him all the same. With watering mouth the Customs officer detected a suspicious bulge, which indicated cigars or other dutiable articles. He Challenged, the youth bolted, and a long and exciting chase ended in the capture of a humorous local tradesman carrying — a small bundle of tools under his coat. 4 So* it was "Review off Reviews" Stead that sent CJartwright, of the " South, African News " those bales of anti-British: pamphlets for in South Africa. Stead gave "his word of honour" — whatever that may be wort/h — that the libels on Lord Kitchener were true. By ike . way, it is a coincidence that the Australian editor of the- "'Review of Reviews" is exuberantly patriotic. To counterbalance the Dr Jekyll of Stead we have the Mr Hyde of . Fitchett, who wags the Union Jack violently, and tells us " How England saved Europe," and all about "The Deeds That Won the Emuire." " Fact is," as the showman said, "you mixes 'em up together like, my little dears, and they suits all tastes." A well-known London music hall entertainer tells a, good De Wet story. He was walking along the Strand, and came on a hawker selling envelopes with portraits of De Wet. The price was on© penny. The actor bought one and went round the first corner to study the features of the famous general. On opening the envelope he found it emptgr. Back he went to the vendor and told ihim, that De Wet was not in the envelope. "Blimme!" cried the merchant, "you don't mean to say he's esoaped again?" ♦ It will be recollected, doubtless, that just before the Duke of York left England ,i trouble arose on the Ophir owing to some

of her stokers objecting to comply with the Admiralty's regulations, which insisted that they should be vaccinated. A London paper, in recording the circumstance, added that the affair, had caused some soreness among the crew. Thereupon i, rhymester in. the " Daily Chronicle " lifted up his voice and sang: — • On the Ophir there are firemen whom, as newspapers relate, The atttlhoritiGs determined they would 'hare . tp vaccinate; Bui v the firemen, raised objections, ana the newspapers record, "Tha affair has caused fome soreness among the crew on ■board." But successful vaccination has one usual effect Which is only just what anyone would probably expect; And it seems a bit superfluous for papers to record That it caused some little soreness among the crew on- board.