Page 4 Advertisements Column 2

Star (Christchurch), Issue 7070, 11 April 1901, Page 4

" 'Arf a quid," replied. Jakins .promptly. ''What!" shrieked the parson, "-half a' sovereign? I won't pay it. You shall put me on shore, and I will get another waterman." "Please yerself," said Jakins quietly. "Ashore or afloat it's the same price— 'arf a qufd." . The parson clasped "his hands and sighed. " You'd better make up yer mind slick," sadd Jakins. "They're haulm' down the Peter on your ship." The parson hesitated a moment ; then, realising «is hopeless position he drew forth a half-sovereign and slapped it down on the thwart in front of him. The water- , man stowed the coin in. his_pookefc witih the other spoils, and struck out briskly foi the Hamburg steamer. " Thamk Heaven, this is the right ship at last," sighed the passenger as he read the name on the vessel's counter while the boat swiftly rounded under her stem. Arrived at the foot of tihe ladder, tho parson dumped his luggage piecemeal on to the grating, and as he deposited the last package he turned to admonish the waterman. " You are a very wicked man," he said, "a very wicked man, and I can only hope that your sinful (heart may be " " Hup yer git," said Jaki'ns, assisting his fare with a dexterous hoist ; and the clergyman floundered on to the grating into the miscellaneous 'heap of his belongings. Half an hour later Bill Jakins and his companion Bob Hunkers brought the wherry alongside tne river stairs of the Old Amsterdam, and made the painter, fast to the hand-rail. "Wat's ifc to be, Bob?" inquired Jalcins. "Well, I tibink 111 begin, with a go of s'rub — 'ot," replied Bob. "Begin with s'rub, will yer? Seem to think you're in for a regler beano ! you do !" The pair made their way to the bar, where Jakins, addressing the barman jauntily, called for "two s'rulbs — 'ot." The steaming liquor was presently produced, and Jakins, not without a trace oi pompousniess in his manner, flung down on the counter one of the half-sovereigns that he lad! so lately acquired. The barman rang the coin on the oomrter, then picked it up and examined it; then rang it again and again examined it ; and aA length he went over to the window, where he subjected it to a minute scrutiny. Presently he returned and passed the coin back to Jakins. "Won't do," he remarked. "Wot dyer meani" Jakins asked indignantly. "Snide," said the barman stolidly. " Git out !" exclaimed Jakins, examining ■tfhe coin increduliously, " thait 'arf quid's all right; bufc still, if yer don't liik'e it I can give yer another— there ! wot dyer think of that one?" and ihe pushed the second half-sovereign across to the barman. The latter took up the coin, inspected it, rang it on the counter, and handed it back. "Won't do," said he. " Won'.fc do !" shouted Jakins. " Why yer dkm'.t mean to say there's anything wrong wifh it?" "Rank bad un," said the barman impassively. " Durn me if this adn'b a pretty fine go,' ; growled Jakins, as with a rueful face he drew out the half-crown and sheepishly placed it on the counter. "Look 'ere," said tie barman sharply, "■this is coming it a bit tfoo .thiok, this is;" and fixing the half-crown an a notch of the coin-tester he bent it roearly double as though it were made of putty. Then he retdred abruptly into the parlour behind the bar. The two longshoremen regarded one another in. silence for some .time, sippin» their shrub thoughtfully. "Well, this 'era's a corker^ this is," said Jakins presently, "a living corker : and 1 1 ain't got another stiver, Bob, so you'll have to pay." "Me 'aye to pay," exclaimed Hunkers in pathetic tones, " w'en I come in *ere to be treated. Nice sort of thing that is, too," "Two shTubs— eightpence," said tfhe !barman, who had' just returned from, the parlour. Hunkers dived! into his pocket and brought out a small handM of coppers, which he counted out painfully and with a sorrowful countenance. " There, that leaves me 'igh and dry, that do," he complained ; and -then the two men resumed the consumption of shrub, condoling with one another upon their misfortune. Their condolences were, however, cut short by the appearance of a stranger in a black coat with white metal buttons, who entered the bar softly and looked about as if in search: 'of someone. "That's 'im," said the*barman pointing at Jakins. "That's 'oo?" queried Jakins in a tone of alarm. " You've g'ofc to come alone o 1 me," said the policeman, laying a persuasive hand on the waterman's shoulder. " Wot for?" said Jakins. " What for? Why, for a-pitchin' a snide across the counter of the Old Amsterdam ; that's what for." " Them there coins was paid to me by a parson — a regler sky-pilot — wasn't they, Bob Hunkers?" protested Jakins appealing to nis friend for corroboration. " Oh, I dare say," said the constab-6 with a grin. " P'raps it was the Archbishop of Canterbury, wasn't it? You come along quiet now." " But I tell yer it's all a mistake," persisted the terrified waterman. " Ho, yes, I know," said the policeman wagging his head, "they always say ths.t. You" come along." " But I assure you, swelp me " " Come along." " And he wewt along. Nerve Tonic Builds up tbe System. Strengthens. This warm climate is very trying to I all. The blood easily becomes impure and the nervous system greatly debilitated. But you can. retain your health. and keep your nervous system strong. This Is the portrait of Mr. William Fanning, of Beaconsfield, Fremantle, Western Australia. In his letter he says: " Upon arriving in Western Australia three years ago, I found that my blood was in bad condition and my general system all run down. I suffered greatly, especially from indigestion. I had heard so much about AVER'S Sarsaparilla I thought I woujd try it. I did so, and only three bottles restored my strength, built up my system, and cured my dyspepsia. And I have also found it a great nerve tonic." If you are bilious, constipated, or ara troubled with headache, take Ayer's Pills. Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer Co., Lowell, Mass., U. S. A.