THE CHINAMAN AT HOME.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 6934, 25 October 1900, Page 2

THE CHINAMAN AT HOME.

, ~+~ THE HUMORi6tJS SED© Of !? HE .OBSBBUWItif K (By JOON FOSTER FRA6ER, in the iMelboarne "Argus.") Although, off course, -we know that the "way of the foeiaJthen iChitaee is peculiar," sod that he (lies as easily as water runs down hill, and that two-thirds of •hisvlife is made up of duplicity, there is another side of his nature which we- foreigners donot alWayS appreciate. When housed he is, of course, one of the iriost terrible "beings on the face, rif the earth. But still, as a rule, he takes life easily, arid there is something childlike and Wand in his nature, which, makes people who live long in his land 1 come to like him. Traders, who rarely go beyond the Treaty Ports, and see but the fringe of Chinese life, are. not quite so enthusiastic as those who lire in the interior. Indteed', a complaint one often hears from many 'Englishmen in China is that the British Consuls in the interior become ipro--Chinese, and' see everything from a Chinese point of view. Of course, the incidents of the past (few months are so terrifying; and distressing that an impression prevails that the Celestial is a bloodthirsty monster. As a matter of fact, he has a good! deal of humour in- his composition. • Once, in Szechuan, my guards quarrelled noisily among themselves respecting the division of the cash of 'Which I had made them a present. They brawled! and fought, so that it was necessary for me, wanting some sleep, to go out- and' use my fists an<i toes upon the -cro-wcf to keep them; quiet. Such a of pacification 1 amused the small Chinese- boys, Who had assembled to see the foreigner. Wheni a Chinaman fights he get 3 hold! of his adversary's pigtail, aaid', if he be strong enough, draws him up and down/ the street. So using toes amd fists was something novel to them. Accordingly, what was my surprise the nexb morning, on going into the street, to find the little boys pushing their little Celestial fists against little Celestial 1 noses, and raising their little Celestial toes to little Celestial sitting parts. The whole street was roaring with laughter. Of course, I had no pigtail 1 , and a joke I frequently played when I .wanted to secure the good humour of the crowd! was to pretend ithat I had! lost mine, catch hold of some lubberly Chinaman, andl swear that I was g^>ing to cut off his for niy own use. He generally had a fear that I, .would early my threat into execution. But the crowd never failed! to appreciate the situation, and enjoyed themselves immensely. I had them my friends during the rest of my stay. What, however, is rather a drawback is that the Chinaman always takes things literally.* A somewhat dramatic (missionary, speaking of Naaman to bis comverte, called out, as he described the return of the cured general, " Open the gates, the general is coming," which those sitting near the doors to jump tip and throw the door .wide open. . An Englishman giving a lanterni lecture threw the picture oi a louse on the screen, whereupon the audience regarded with 'horror the enormous size of the English louse ! Magic lanterns are things that are not quite understood in same parts of the interior. I reniemiber turning up at Tungchuan and finding the missionaries there in a great fright from prospective riot. They had just hit upon the happy idea of importing a magic lantern to show pictures of what England was like. There was a tremendous crush in the missionary^ ""house, but the moment the lights were turned down it dawned on the Celestial mind that the only object the foreign devils had was to get them shut up in that room and then kill the lot of them. There -was no exhibition that evening, and, indeed, i'fc vfraa some time before the missionaries regained the confidence of the people. What is always so humorous to "the Europeans in the Chinese is their topsyturvy way of doing thing 6. You meet a man all in white, and think he has been to some festivity, but fina he is ia*mournin'g. Sounds of sobbing and lamentation meet your ear, but it is only a bride about to be married. Some prisoners pass, and they wear their hair long as a . disgrace. There is a frightful din of voices from a school-house near; It indicates that tne boys are hard at work. If you look in the boy reciting has his back to the master. Another . [boy is wanted, end' the master beckons him by waving him away. You are sad as you learn that tfae coffin ibedng carried into a house is for the head of tthe family. • Then you learn that the fat-he? is in excellent health ; in fact, it is his birthday, and the coffin is an acceptaible present from his sons. Books in Chin it airways beein from what •we consider the back end. One reads from too to bottom, starting at t<he . opposite side of the page from the plan in reading, European printing:. A Chinaman shakes hands with himself on meeting. you by way of greeting, instead o!f shaking hands with you. At a dinner party the talking is all before the meal, a.nd not after. The dinner begins with sweets, and ends with soups. We think the Chinese dishes, birds-nest soup, slugs, shark's fins, and other curious dishes, rather objectionable ; -but, as a matter of fact, they are exceedingly good, although iifc took me, personally, a. long time before 'I got to like poached eggs spaked in treacle. 'Respecting eggs, the Celestials I hive a curious theory. They admit that | they go bad, but believe that if they be ■ Tiufc underground and left there 1 for a year 1 they are quite excellent to eat. Ori this point, however, I am unable to express an ; opinion 1 . To a Chinaman. English food is just, as 1 jianseoiis as ive think theirs to 'be. T recollect an amusing little experience I had in the anti-foreign province of Hupek A couple of days before I had spent an evening with a missionary, who ilnad kindly given me a loaif of bread! and a pot of jam, which -were certainly very acceptaible to a ma,n who, for month-is, had lived on little other than under-cooked rice- and pig that I had probably died a natural death. The Mandarin cf the little village where I halted brought his son, about six years old, to pee me, in very much the same wary as an English- father wouM i£k* His boy toL?te the animals at_;the zop^^j&p&ttop^

The Mandtwin had met European* ImJoW and was affable. Hi* little eon, fcow**d| Was in- a great fright,, and evidently AcM&el that I might .warn* to eat hits. $» gtii his friendship I cut A dice of loaf «&{ smeared it with jam, and offered -it to fjty tiny chap. He shradk with, a cry to hi 4 father, who, however, pressed him ttt tak{ the bread. After a while the boy tieogpfof it. He didn't like, however, to eat it. Th&f was no telling wliat horrible fotod thf foreigner was offering him. Bttfe ag*U fcty father brought h1« iaftufcnoe to bear, attd aft last the youngster put out his toivgtje any tasted the jam. • I shall never 'forget the exbraoifiuMtti change that /came over his face. He toe§ A stfdont* tidk, and then. a «hi*4, «ad to 1*1; tinle thati it takes me to itell be #W glfct bling that bread and 1 jam. He bad &ad| one great diftcoVery— what jam tested like ! < Tftet Chinese have a reluctatloe to spealt plainly, ia fact, there is m Buch tWBJ as " plain Ohifi^e," bettau«6 it i» Iwft OJinJ. sSdered good itortihSJEn, front «f evejy J&M there h&ngg ft boawi du\whtoh iri written ii :dhiri^« chavaciieM, "Ofie Price £Wr,* meaniig 1 that tliesiprioes are fixed. Bii^ probably since tfce\time *he Chineee fiihi pife was founded' there never has been « single thing sold in* <3hin«iflnafi*B chop" f c^ the price asked. The jseßer always asH twice as m'ucb as h« fixp€6t»^> gel), N tntt th( buyer offers' half as much as he eipectl pay. Then, they start Jiaggling. One tiome^ dbwn a little, the other goes up «. li^tlw and by 43iS end otf three-quartetß oi an i««l they come to an arrangement. This 1% taA rule. , ; China's land i« not wealthy in nwrnoria^ of the past. But pictutosquenedei is oftek added to the countryside hf very 1 fifte *n^ really excellently carved memorial efche^ which are put up to the memory of comdt body's good life. They «re ordered by fn< Emperor through the Boarcf of fti«e«, bttj the relatwe* would muoh, rather the virtue^ of the deceased were not so reoogtohied^ Many a family has been iforoeM to iruii^ itself in order to ereofc a memofiftl aroL To be honioiired by flhe /Ertiperer itt thi< ■way is not the general! desire. ' A Olnnese fisheftnan ha« got coftbtfL sense. He doesn't stand fooling away ni( time holding his rod with- k piece dt bai| at the end of it. He tries c6rtn«fantej Two imem go put mi A boAt acoompainaed b^ twelve cormorants. The cormorant* div* to bring up fish in their bill*, they throwi tham into ,the air and swallow thenu Bui "the astttte Chinaman ha« fastened a piec4 of wire round their throat*, bo that th( descent of ,the fish ia atresbed. 6n« of ihl . men gives lihe bird's neck a squeeze tod M disgorges the fish into a basket. With f few cormoraittts fishing is peetty brisk. '. Another way the Chinamen have of fish-* ing is on moonlight nights to fasten a boal by the river bank, arid rfihen at the sitie, about four feet from the boa*, they ihang i thin lath painted white. iTh* fish. IttteuJfl this lath for a moonbeam; they jump an<i oome down into the 'boat, whWe they li< till the fisherman appears in. the morning! and scrapes them up and icarries them off b( market. "*"